Random Esquire

Well, this is probably going to be the most inappropriate entry I’ve ever done.  Let me set the scene.

Besos and I were at dinner last night and we were talking about our friends, Chris and Bev (LynchSeattle and Blynch).  Besos said, “When I saw Chris in bed…”

*Blink*

I said, “What?”

She said, “When I saw Chris in bed…”

I said, “What?”

She said, “When. I. Saw. Chris. And. Bev….”

I said, “Ohhh…”

I told her what I’d been hearing and she laughed and we sent a text message to Bev relaying the story.  Bev relayed the message to Chris and we all laughed and then Bev and I decided we should have an affair to even out the score.

So, Besos and I went home and made with the whoopie pancakes and then fell asleep.  I woke up around 3 in the morning and could distinctly remember having two dreams:

1)  I had a dream that I absolutely had to go get the Amazon Kindle.  In fact, in my dream, you could watch television on it as well as download books from Amazon.

2)  In my other dream…I was making out with Bev in bed.  Oy!  I decided to keep that one to myself.

I got up to take out my contacts and brush my teeth before I silently slipped back into bed.  It was then that Besos spoke:

“You talk in your sleep.”

I froze.

“What?”

She said, “You talk in your sleep.”

I said slowly, “Ohhh? Uhhhhh…what did I say?”

She sat up and turned toward me and said, “You were having a good time.  You were moaning.  And then you said something.”

I couldn’t help it.  I started to laugh out of nervous embarrassment.  “What did I say?”

“You said, ‘That feels good, baby.’”

At this point, I couldn’t stop laughing and I burst out, “I had a dream I was making out with Bev in bed!”

Besos started to laugh and said, “You were not fucking making out!”

We laughed and curled up back in bed and I began to grab at her some more and she warned me to behave and brushed my hands away a little.

I couldn’t help it.

I whispered, “Bev lets me.”

Let’s pause in the story to fully appreciate my stupidity.  In the course of a few hours, I’d suggested an affair with another woman, had a dream in which I made out with said woman, apparently gave verbal indication of said dream and then made a stupid comment about my imaginary affair with the woman.

Besos let out a “Rraaawwwwrrrr!!” at me and I was banished to the other side of the bed.

But she was giggling the entire time so I snuck back over and behaved myself.

Dude.

WTF.

Good thing Besos can laugh about my goofiness.

But seriously, Bev…how you doin’?