Pap Smears Make Lousy Gifts
QTMama’s recent entry about mis-hearing things reminded me of an incident from law school. I had been participating in a mock appellate hearing regarding disability law and had traveled to Milwaukee with my ‘co-counsel’ to argue in front of some judges. Our mentor throughout this journey was a very intelligent attorney who was in a wheelchair; he provided incredible insight and clarity into disability law.
Following a rather stressful day of arguing, my team sat around in a local bar in Milwaukee discussing how we would thank our mentor. We had all had a few to drink. Someone suggested something from Milwaukee’s art museum or an engraved gavel. The conversation went something like this:
A female teammate said, “Let’s get him a pap smear.”
This caught my attention.
I said, “What?”
She said, “You know…a pap smear.” The rest of the team nodded, thinking this was a good idea.
I said, “Are you kidding? That’s a lousy gift!”
She looked offended. “It’s not a serious gift…just something small along with his real gift…to remember our trip.”
I said, “What the heck is wrong with you people? First of all, that’s a lousy fucking gift. Second, he’s a man! How the hell is he doing to get a pap smear?!”
They all burst out laughing. My female teammate said, “I said a Pabst Beer!”
oh.
I get it now.

Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.