Random Esquire

Little Filthy has so far tried:

Peanut Butter, Carrots, Green Beans, Bananas, Corn, and Watermelon. This time? He got to try a veal chop bone. Click on the pictures to see full size.

First – the bone.

Crazy Eyes.

CHOMP.

Yum.

SO GOOD.

Demolished.

Little Filthy has had corn, carrots, watermelon, peanut butter, and banana. Today, he got a green bean. I hadn’t intended it to be a food trying day but … well, he practically insisted.

I made lunch.

I decided to eat while sitting on the couch (I know, I know.)

Within seconds, Little Filthy was at my side.

His face says, “Whatcha got there?”

That’s just pathetic, right? So I showed him some green beans.

Two seconds before he was almost in trouble.

His patience was rewarded.

Mark Stern of Cuckoo Studio was awesome enough to sketch Little Filthy from one of the pictures taken while Dysfunction Junction was visiting. How cool is that??

Click to make larger!

Here are other artist renditions of Little Filthy:

From Lauri Apple, artist for Wonkette, who was also featured in an Italian fashion magazine… all of which is just original and awesome and cool – and who also happens to be one of the most kind people I’ve ever met.  Here is her rendition of Random Esq + Little Filthy:

The awesome Debra from Rubbermoon turned Little Filthy into a stamp – with all proceeds going to fight cancer:

Then, some of you may have received a Christmas card last year with Little Filthy on it, courtesy of Abby McMillen of FolkDogArt.com.  You can see her art on boxes of Barkwheats treats for dogs.

Thank you to all of you who have captured Little Filthy so well. He’s a good boy.

Little Filthy has tried corn, watermelon, and bananas. Dysfunction Junction came over today and we fed Little Filthy some carrots and treats. Enjoy!

Want.

Gimme.

Ouch – was that your finger?

How about a peanut butter treat?

Can I eat those now?

1.  I watched The Sound of Music last night with a friend.  What a scandalous movie, really.  He stole a nun and then took her on a month long honeymoon.  I mean, I get that she’s got a lot to discover… but a month?  They’ve pretty much guaranteed themselves additional brood.  And at one point, Uncle Max called the children a bunch of “gloomy pussies.”  I bet they re-write that line in modern productions.  It got better when it went all Indiana Jones at the end and the Nazis got their comeuppance. Then I realized that if this whole thing happened in the present, it’d be a reality show.  Nun mom trying to deal with 7 step children… while pregnant.

2.  Little Filthy got a bath.  This has endeared him to me.  Enough that I sent a text message to his mom, Boss, who is currently in Florida with family:

RE: When you comin’ back?

Boss: In a day or two.

RE: Hurry!

Boss: Why for?

RE: Cause the dog is cute right now, how he’s sleeping.

Boss: Ok.  Don’t let him move.  For 48 hours.

RE: He won’t.  I glued him.

3.  My Neighbor was over for a bit yesterday.  She brought Barnabas, her pug, over.  Little Filthy promptly showed him how to remove kleenex from the box.  Neighbor and I gaped as Barnabas delicately tried to pull a kleenex from the box.  She said to me, “You realize who you’re raising?”  I turned to her and said, “Uh oh. Who?”

She said, “Alvin.  You’re raising Alvin.  And my dog is just one of those innocent other chipmunks.”

I said, “Oh, like Simon?”

She sighed and said, “I’m afraid Barnabas is more like…Theodore.”

We’re raising monsters.

Fox and Hound

Got mine today!

Don’t forget, if you buy a stamp before the 15th of December, I’ll be entering your name into a drawing for $50.  Debra has been kind enough to enter you upon order. (Thank you, Debra!)

All profits go to the American Cancer Society.  Another big thank you for Debra at Rubbermoon and Gretchen Ehrsam, the artist.  Thank you.

GET YOUR STAMP HERE.

1.  I heard Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer today.  I just gotta ask, when is there ever a warm, moist air mass moving over the North Pole on Christmas Eve?  Is fog really an issue at the North Pole?  So I decided to figure it out.  Turns out that because the air is so bitterly cold, it takes a really small amount of water in the air before it saturates, resulting in fog.  But not of water droplets – of ice crystals.  And this is not an infrequent thing.  So I guess the song does sort of make sense.

2.  And then I realized that I’d spent far too much time thinking about that.  Because, really, is the fog part where the song loses credibility for me?  Not the anthropomorphic reindeer?  Or Santa or the LED nose animal?   No.  See, I quickly pinpoint the fog and question that.

Sometimes, my brain is useless.

3.  You may have heard – I have a new service that I’m offering.  But you’ll have to visit QT‘s blog Friday morning to hear more about it.

Speaking of, check out that little Meg Ryan.

4.  I am the product of miscegenation.  This means that rarely a week will go by when someone does not ask me about my ethnicity.  However, I fully admit that it sometimes gets tiresome.  I would probably not mind except that most people seem to think that this is an acceptable way to inquire about your ethnicity:  “What are you?”

Sometimes, because I have decided to be playfully difficult, the conversation goes like this:

Person: “What are you?”

RE:  “American.”  Big smile.

Person: “No, I mean, like, where are you from?”

RE: “Oh!  Sorry – I’m from Chicago.”  Big smile.

Person: “Where were you born?”

RE: “Ohhh, Minnesota.”  Winning smile.

Person: “But what language do you speak?”

RE: “…English.”  Confused look.

Person: “I meant other than English.”

RE:  “Oh!  French.”

I don’t look French – even though I am 1/4 French.  I do appreciate the curiosity but sometimes, I want to make something up.  So I’ve decided to start saying, “I’m Caraway.  Perhaps you’ve heard of our seeds.”

5.  I realize that I have shifted this posture to Little Filthy. Once, while dining al fresco with the pooch under the table, a man walked by, did a double take at him and clearly wondered what breed he was.  The beast is pug-chihuahua.  The man said slowly, “What….is he?”

I said slowly, “He…is   a     dog…”

1.  Wait..wait….before you go in there…let me just explain why I was so interested in the kleenex.

2.  Tell me about this Santa again.

3.  QT, we need to talk about your drinking.

1.  Little Filthy is donating a library to a local elementary school.  His portrait is going to hang over the Berenstain Bears bookshelf.

The artist?  A good friend – Abby McMillen – whose Folk Dogs are soon going to appear on boxes of Barkwheats.  She was recently featured on Phetched.

2.  As you may recall from the *cough* asshole conversation *cough*, a friend wished to set me up.  Circumstances prevented me from attending an event at which I would have met her and really, that was fine with me.  Frankly, I don’t know how I would have ever explained why I was looking under her dress to see if she had a peg leg.  I shouldn’t joke.  Like I said, she could be a perfectly nice whoman.

3.  Instigator and I had lunch today.  I can’t wait to take a picture of her eyeball because if you thought my eyeball was interesting, wait until you get a load of that ball-o-color.

4.  Little Filthy tore another pad off his paw.  This time the other back paw.  And this time, he ate the bandaid.  *sigh*

5.  I need a back massage.  My back feels like a box of rawhide knots.

Little Filthy has tried corn, peanut butter and watermelon.  Let’s add banana to the list.

I decided to place the banana on the kitchen counter and let Little Filthy jump and try to snag it.  To capture the picture, I climbed on top of the counter and looked down at the action.  Captions are above the photo; click on the photo to see the full size.  Did he get the banana? Find out after the cut.

Temptation.  The banana sits innocently on the counter.

A closer look.

Planning: Working out a strategy to get the piece of banana off of the counter.

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