Random Esquire

1.  If you’re going to use the line, “Why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home?” it’s really far more effective if:

A) You’re Paul Newman

and

B) You’re not known for your passionate love of hamburgers.

2.  I’m averaging about 5 hours of sleep a night and 500 milligrams of caffeine a day.

That all sorts of wrong.

3.  I ordered this framed poster for my sister’s office.  It was a poster created by the British Government in 1939 that was to be distributed if the Nazis invaded Great Britain.  It was re-discovered in 2000 and widely reprinted.

Not to be mistaken for the slightly less motivational:

4.  NYC next week.  And I think I will be going to Las Vegas in February with some friends, Sitcom included.  She has only been to Las Vegas once and only for one night.  She informed us that despite her short stay, she managed to “do the walk of shame from the Flamingo to the Aladdin though.   Ew. I was so gross.  Clearly, I  would now only walk of shame from the Wynn to the Bellagio.”

Another member of said group of friends threw up out of a moving cab.

I chimed in that I threw up in a trash can along the strip during my last trip.

Don’t judge.

I’d like to say it was because I was drunk and having a fantastic time.  But really?  I had pneumonia and did not know.

5.  Sometimes, on Fridays, I come home and Little Filthy is singing along to songs, using his bone as a microphone.  He doesn’t know I know.