In case you’re wondering:  Correct response:  “You don’t need makeup!”  Incorrect response:  “What are you talking about? None of the Mexican girls I’ve ever met wore underwear.”

2.  Since we’re on the topic of me being stupid, I went into the bedroom last night and yelled out to Besos, “I’m ready!”  She yelled back, “For what?”  I called out, “To start making out!”

She came in and complied.  I then told her that I thought we should do another photo shoot and I might have suggested a picture of her butt.  For the blog.  (I was teasing but she does have a remarkable ass.)  She pulled back and looked at me and said, “You know, men read your blog, too.”

And to be honest, that might have escaped me since I don’t exactly seem to have a huge male following.  I said, “I don’t care. I’m not insecure.  If you run off, I’ll find another hot Latina.”

Okay, now, save your wrath.  Because I was grinning and she knows I was teasing.  She snorted and I said, “You don’t think I can find another hot Latina?”  She said, “Oh, I know you could.  But then I’d have to find someone new, too.”  I said, “You will not find anyone as awesome as me.”  She snorted and I yelled, “No one is as awesome as me!”  She sighed, looked at me and said, “Well…there’s definitely only one of you.”

And then I spent the next 10 minutes trying to figure out if I’d been insulted.

3.  I was talking to QTMama today and I compared sex to a steak.  That made me remember when I first started making this analogy.  I had a friend in high school who, in trying to explain the difference between sex with a condom on and sex without a condom to a female friend, said: “It’s like eating a steak with a balloon on your tongue.  You still end up satisfied in the end …but you missed most of the enjoyable part.”

This is the same guy who made me choke on my drink once.  We were out, seated at a bar when a woman came and sat down next to him.  She said to him, “You smell good.  What do you have on?”

He said, “I have a hard-on.  But I didn’t know you could smell it.”