Random Esquire

1.  So.  Single Ladies by Beyonce.  Let me tell you how this went.

I put my laptop on the table, pulled up the video on  YouTube and announced to my niece and nephew that it was time to dance.  I hit play.

And they were thoroughly unimpressed.

They stood there and stared at Beyonce dancing and then looked at me.

My niece said, “I don’t want to listen to this anymore.”

My nephew said, “Twinkle twinkle!”

Science FAIL.

2.  Last night I ate gingersnaps before bed.  And in my dreams, I fell in love with a ginger.

BigLittleWolf asked me what would happen if I ate chocolate chip cookies before bed.  So I ran to the corner and got these.

Will let you know how it turns out in the morning.

UPDATE – 8:00 A.M.  I don’t remember my dreams, if I had any.  Clearly, chocolate chip cookies wipe your memory or prevent dream formation.

3.  As you know, I like to take pictures of food.  I may have left out the fantastic loaf of French bread and the french fries I enjoyed.  My niece made them for me.  They were delicious and I enjoyed them with a juice box.  And I may have had an apron on at the time.  A very.  Tiny.  Apron.

Man, check out those little fingers and that cute dress.  Just looking at that picture makes me laugh.  She’s a TINY PERSON.

I had a dream last night.  In my dream, I was in college.  I was in college with Debra Messing.  We were good friends.

And then, one day, while we were walking across a bridge, I said something really cynical.

And Debra Messing laughed and smiled and said something very sweet to me.

And I knew right then that I’d fallen in love with Debra Messing.

And I couldn’t believe how I did not realize it before.

And I suddenly found her beautiful.

And I asked her to marry me.

And then I woke up.

And I turned on my laptop and looked at a picture of Debra Messing.

And in my after-dream glow, I still thought she was sort of hot.

And I’d never thought she was hot before this morning.

And that is why you should not eat ginger snaps before bed.