Random Esquire

1.  You can get drunk on wine during the Holidays.  That’s just good times and coping skills.  But if you get drunk an liquor, well, that’s just alcoholism.

2.  I’ve decided I’m taking a break from chasin’ women.  I’m just gonna wait to get seduced.  So, how’s this work?  How do I find one ready to seduce me?

3.  My neighbor came by for a bit tonight with her pug, Barnabas.  Chaos ensued when Barnabas trotted over to Little Filthy’s baby – The Moose.  It was as if time slowed.  Out of one corner of my eye, I saw Barnabas open his mouth and then my mouth slowly opened to yell, “Nnnnooooooooooooo!”  But it was too late.  Barnabas grabbed The moose and Little Filthy rocketed off the couch, ready to Chris Brown him.   This resulted in a massive chase around the couch, down the hall, into the bedroom, over the bed and finally back out to the couch.  Little Filthy chased Barnabas, I chased Little Filthy.  And my neighbor sat on the couch and laughed.  Turns out we had little to worry about.  Barnabas just dropped The Moose and Little Filthy proceeded to hump it.   The Moose, that is.

*sigh*

4.  Now… Now I think I shall go out and enjoy some nightlife.