Random Esquire

1.  My phone rings.  I answer it and hear singing. It’s the Italian and he’s had a weekend of sex and fun with his Venezuelan girlfriend.  I listen for the first 5 minutes as he singsongs about his weekend.  He says, breathlessly and in a huge blur, “Do you know how many freakin’ orgasms this woman had?  And I believe it!  I may be a schmuck, but I believe it!”

I laugh and he says, “You know why I tell you these things? Because you’re an enabler.  Oh, I like being enabled.”

2.  When I eat breakfast foods, I want a little bit of everything.  A bite of a pancake, a bit of a biscuit, a sausage link, a strip of bacon, eggs, a bite of a crepe, etc.  I don’t want much of any one thing, I just don’t want to eat a plate of pancakes and not have the sweet evened out by something savory.  This is what I think about when blogging in the morning, I guess.

3.  Well, as previously reported…I am taking my mother to go see Tina Turner on Friday.  This means I will have taken my mother to Oprah and my father to Diana Ross and now, my mother to Tina Turner.  Gee, where should I take my dad next?  Bette Midler?

*sigh*