Random Esquire

Besos and I had dinner with a long-time friend of mine last night.  I glanced over at Besos a few times as my friend relayed stories of me sliding across a bar on my knees while singing to Elvis and about crazy ex-girlfriends of mine.  I think her mouth was open at some points.  Hey, I haven’t always been a stuffy attorney.  I cultivated this over the course of years.

My friend relayed a story about some of her cousins – a pair of sisters.  Their father had died and neither one of them would go pick up the ashes from the funeral home.  Finally, one of them did and they stuck the ashes in a bag.  A paper bag.  At one point, he was upgraded to a Nieman-Marcus bag.  Of course, the bag was resigned to the trunk of a car.  But on Memorial Day, they took out the bag and went bar hopping with his ashes.

My friend and her husband (also a friend of mine) are…rather known for having wild/creative sex, especially in public places.  Her husband once surprised her when she pulled her car in the garage by peeking out of the other car in the garage – buck naked.  There was also the time when he answered the door for her wearing a hard hat, tool belt and work books and nothing else.  Apparently, their latest gig is having sex at a local college.  She sighed and said in a resigned tone, “He just likes having sex in a classroom.”  I, of course, found this hilarious.  She had recently confessed this public sex habit to a close friend…and then one morning, she and her husband went for a brisk morning walk along a golf course where they spotted the friend’s husband, who, naturally, probably assumed they’d been having sex on the links.  She said, “I wanted to yell, ‘We just like walking! We weren’t having sex!’”

Except they probably were.  There’s probably a spot on the 9th with matted down grass in the shape of one body.  By the way, did I mention that my friend and her husband are in their mid/late 50’s?  Pretty damn awesome, no?

So, last night, with Besos and I tucked in bed, I turned to her and said, “If THEY had sex in a classroom, WE have to have sex in a classroom.”  She patted my head and said, “We will.  I’m sure.”

It’s a good thing she agreed.  If she had said no, I was fully prepared to say, “Bev lets me.“