Random Esquire

Lady Date Penelope double fists it.

And stumbles home in the morning.

Lady Date Penelope says, “You know I am Spanish, right?”

You may recall that two weeks ago, I had the distinct pleasure of dinner with four really fantastic women.  This little outing was promptly nicknamed my Lady Date by Dysfunction Junction.  Sitcom was one of those lovely women and knows well my fascination with Pe (as she is known in Spain) – a.k.a. Penelope Cruz -  and she brought me a gift which was promptly named:  Lady Date Penelope.

So far, Lady Date Penelope has planned a nice getaway to some Spanish beaches as well as offered to teach me Spanish…with her hips.

Last week, on a cold and cloudy Chicago Friday, I decided to take Lady Date Penelope ice skating in Chicago’s Millennium Park.

She ended up in the arms of a strange man who attempted to put the moves on her!  I do not kid, friends.  See?

How did this happen?  Continue on to find out.

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laughs and says, “Throw these away. I teach you Spanish. With my hips.”

sips coffee and plans our vacation at Spanish beach hotels.