Random Esquire

1.  It’s official. I may want to be LynchSeattle.  A visit to Chicago and I’m buying an SLR this morning to I can learn to take photos that come anywhere near to what he managed to capture here, during our dinner at Marche.  You want food porn? That’s it.

2.   You know the saying “Liquor before beer, never fear” and “Beer before liquor, never sicker” ?  I get that the rhyming scheme is supposed to make it easy to remember this general rule.  But what’s to keep someone from remembering it as “liquor after beer, never fear” or “beef after liquor, never sicker”?  Which seems like a bad mistake, really.  That is, if there is any truth to it.

3.  I’m struck by the number of people who use their butt to open doors, even when their hands are free.

4.  Good Grief.  I’m sitting at the computer desk which has a pull out drawer for the keyboard.  Little Filthy just jumped to put his paws on the chair to give me a toy and he clocked his head on the corner of the keyboard drawer.  He spit out the toy instantly and looked at me.  He sneezed and then walked it off.  Attaboy.

I did go rub his noggin softly for good measure.

5.  I was invited to a tasting event at a new club here in Chicago.  The restaurant specializes in raw foods – crudo, sashimi, tartare, etc.  I took Boss and we then dined around the corner at a place she likes.  We sat down and were served two drinks and before we got far with those, they had made us 3 more.   Oy.  Blynchness.  Some pictures below.

I attended the Wine.Dine.Donate event in Chicago, sponsored by Epicurious at MK. I had been invited as a guest of Epicurious and took Instigator, foodie that she is. If you live in San Francisco or New York, these events are coming to your city and I highly recommend them as they are for a good cause (America’s Second Harvest) and, as an added bonus, you can meet Tanya Steel, editor-in-chief of Epicurious and James Beard recipient. Instigator and I were fortunate enough to be seated at her table and I had the good luck of being next to her. She was well spoken and quite charming. On to the food, yes?

The best hors d’oeuvres of the night, in my humble opinion, was the spicy bison tartare on a housemade cracker. Second to that was the wild mushroom bruchetta. We sipped on Pol Roger Brut nv Champagne while mingling. My apologies for the low lighting in the food pictures. Here’s a shot of the restaurant prior to seating.

Dinner was a yellowtail tuna (seared rare, wild watercress, roasted red pepper, new potato, white anchovy, quail egg, black olive) and duck breast (patty pan squash, roasted spring onion, chanterelle mushrooms, pancetta and a red wine sauce.) The tuna was served with a Pascal Joviet Sancerre. Instigator loved the cracked pepper and I thought the anchovy made the dish. The duck was served with a Museum Crianza.

Dessert was a cherry tart with creme fraiche sorbet, bittersweet chocolate sauce and almond streusel. It was served with a Churchill’s 10 year tawny port which tasted a hell of a lot better than my previous experience.

And a generous swag bag came at the end of the meal. Thus concludes my dake with Instigator.

1. I said something remarkably stupid to Besos. Here’s the thing…sometimes I forget that she’s Mexican. I realize that sounds stupid. But I forget. (Hey, pretty women do this to me…) Until at one point last weekend, I looked at her and sort of did a double take. She said, “What?” I said, “Sometimes I forget that you’re Mexican.” I could sense her resisting the urge to groan or roll her eyes. She said, “What?!” I said, “I forget and then I look at you and you look distinctly Mexican and then I realize that it’s like…it’s like I’m dating Maria from Sesame Street.”

I know. I know.

I’m an idiot.

2. Do extra-large eggs come from extra-large chickens? Or does the same size chicken lay different sizes of eggs, which are sorted later?

3. This morning, on the news, a reporter said, “Three masked men banged on the front door and burst in…and that’s when things turned bad.” I don’t know. I think the turn happened a little earlier, myself.

4. Emma Thompson is out. I have a new soccer mom crush. It’s Natalie Morales from The Today Show.

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Let’s eat our way through Europe. Here are some pictures I took of my meals during my travels. Tuck in and hang on. This is a killer post of food.

Paris, France: Escargot with garlic and parsley butter.

From Rue Cler in Paris: Nutella and banana crepe.

Paris Street Food: Gyro…on a baguette.

More food after the jump.

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1. I’m ready for the week to be over. Because I’m over it. Too sleepy to go into the office but unwilling to miss lunch with Instigator to hear about her horrible business trip.

2. Dinner was very fun last night, despite the hole where a Plush should have been; she is under the weather. We started with red wine, bread, cheeses, fresh berries, and olives. It was a simple meal – bacon wrapped filets with rustic mashed potatoes and steamed asparagus. The most successful dish was probably the salad. Spring greens, yellow heirloom tomato, candied walnuts (which I candied the day prior), sliced dates, and goat cheese. The dressing was inspired by The Ballerina, who likes pear martinis. It was a pear infused white balsamic whisked with extra virgin olive oil and salt and pepper. I stirred, she dipped spoons and tasted. The hit of the night was The Ballerina’s peach pie which we all ate with ice cream while sipping a Moscato d’Asti. The food was a good excuse to get together and laugh.

3. What the hell is up with the weather in Chicago? With the windchill today, it is below freezing down here by the lake.

4. Anyone hear how many of those teenagers who were taken from that compound in Texas were pregnant? Of the 53 girls aged 14-17, 31 of them have been pregnant. Jesus. And world is broiling over Hanna Montana showing skin at age 15. Just wait until she gets pregnant. Oh wait, that’s right…that’s Jamie Lynn Spears. Thank you, Today Show, you are most informative.

5. I think I’m going to compliment a stranger today. I feel slightly odd but I think that if I think something nice/good about someone, I’m going to tell them, even if I don’t know them. We’ll see how this goes over. This is the kind of stupid thing I decide to commit to that ends in disaster, or at least with a funny look from Instigator as I try to explain my reasoning. Like the time I decided to go an entire weekend without speaking. My own idiocy keeps me entertained.

An early morning run to the store was in order to pick my up my proteins for tonight’s dinner. My neighbor laughed at me as I juggled a bag, a baguette and a bunch of fresh tulips and tried to unlock my front door at the same time. I whistled to myself as I put things in the my fridge and then I turned to the bunch of tulips. I looked to the bookshelf for a vase, which is where the vases normally are. Then it occurred to me – What the hell makes me think I own a vase?

I realized then, of course, that when Boss and I split, the vases went with her. I sent her a text message and said, “You didn’t leave a single vase! Mah tulips is dyin’!” I knew she’d laugh at this. She said, “I only took my vases…I can’t help it that you’re a boy!” Well, that’s true. There’s really no help for it.

So the tulips are in a Pilsner glass. Because that’s what women like to see. Flowers in a beer glass. Hey, man, improvisation is key with me.

Tonight, I went to a fantastic event hosted by a local wine seller who did a food and wine pairing with one of Chicago’s fantastic dining establishments: Sepia. Executive Chef Kendal Duque was on hand to describe each of the fourteen food courses which we tried with any of the eight wines that were poured liberally. Here’s the event room; I was allowed in by an acquaintance before service began.

The first food flight consisted of:

1. Smoked Salmon Salad on Endive Spear (strips of smoked salmon with olive oil, chive, and lemon zest).

2. Pork Rillete on Toasted Baguette (braised pork belly and shoulder blended with pork fat).

3. Steak Tartare (shallot, caper, lemon zest, olive oil, salt, pepper).

4. Marinated Portobello and Red Pepper (roasted mushroom, olive oil, thyme, balsamic).

5. Chilled Pea Soup (fresh green pea puree, onion, chicken stock, and butter).

Other food flights and wine choices after the cut – the food gets far better!

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1. I’m a wine amateur but was invited to attend a wine tasting of sorts, hosted by Georg Riedel, maker or Riedel wine glasses.

Basically, we sipped four different wines, each from four different wine glasses to experience how the same wine changed in aroma, texture, and taste based upon the glass used. It was pretty remarkable, I have to say. Now that I have the right glass for any wine, I think it’s time to have some people over.

2. I’m weird about having people over. I can be…very private (duh). It’s just that you can tell exactly who I am and my place is sort of like my insides spread across the loft in the form of the books on my bookshelf and the art hanging on the walls. I don’t really care so much what people think as much as it weirds me to have them know so much about me in one fell swoop.

3. I made stuffed peppers tonight. Before picture. Sausage, tomato, onion, garlic, mushrooms, zucchini. I added rice and a tomato base and stuffed. Now I’m stuffed.

Last night was filled with excellent food and drink at One SixtyBlue. I had been invited as a guest to celebrate the restaurant’s tenth anniversary and the very good food of Martial Noeguier. The restaurant (former best restaurant of Chicago 2006) was filled with women in cocktail dresses and men with suits. I had the signature ‘bluetini’ made with blueberry syrup, vodka, champagne…and something else I can not recall. The food was incredible. My date and I enjoyed an excellent amuse bouche or two and dined on a rare lamb with rosemary sauce and an excellent beef tenderloin, along with a variety of seasonal baby vegetables, all expertly prepared.

We sat next to two women (Nancy and Josephine) who were around the age of 70-75 or so, both wearing hats. We’d met them earlier when I noticed Josephine holding two drinks, her own and Nancy’s. I teased her gently about having two drinks at a time. They both belong to a hat club in Chicago. Josephine told me tales of her five weeks in Italy and how, now that she’s back, she’s been having to work out much more – including weights and cardio. Get down with your bad self, Josephine.

At one point, I glanced at my phone and saw that my sister had left me a voice mail and a text message. Her text said, “Hope u aren’t angry with me.”

I honestly can not remember the last time I was angry with my sister and we speak a few times a week, and more or less daily since her baby was born. I don’t think we’ve exchanged a harsh word in….years. I sent her a text back and said, “Did you mean this for someone else?”

She responded, “No, I am a paranoid hormone wreck. Just was afraid that you hated me. Realized that you are at your dinner party.”

Did I mention that my sister just had a baby? It some ways, it made me laugh because she must really be upside down to ever think I could hate her but it also almost made me mist up just a little to think she spent more than half a second feeling that way. I gave her a call as soon as I left the party and spoke with her briefly before she tried get some valuable sleep time.

Here’s the party favor from last night. Mmmm,…Illy espresso.

My neighbor came over for a cappuccino today. Neighbor tried to teach me cappuccino art and we found that I am not particularly skilled at it. Here’s my attempt at an over-mixed, three-leaf design:

We sat down on the couch with our drinks and then paused to stand at the window as a collection of fire trucks had appeared. I turned around to see Little Filthy lean back from Neighbor’s cappuccino and he looked like a foamy mouthed, rabies infested, mad animal. I sighed and nudged Neighbor as Little Filthy licked most of it off. The evidence:

Let me blow that up so you can properly appreciate what was left of Neighbor’s milk foam:

This is not the first time (a disgusting learning experience) or even the second time Little Filthy has stuck his mug in my mug. I vow to not leave coffee on the coffee table.