Random Esquire

Little Filthy has had corn, carrots, watermelon, peanut butter, and banana. Today, he got a green bean. I hadn’t intended it to be a food trying day but … well, he practically insisted.

I made lunch.

I decided to eat while sitting on the couch (I know, I know.)

Within seconds, Little Filthy was at my side.

His face says, “Whatcha got there?”

That’s just pathetic, right? So I showed him some green beans.

Two seconds before he was almost in trouble.

His patience was rewarded.

I was invited to attend the Food and Wine Magazine Expo at the Museum of Contemporary Art last night and thought I’d take some pictures for you to enjoy.  Click to enlarge.

I come from a family in which everyone cooks.  While my mother prepares the dinner on Thanksgiving, on Christmas, everyone brings along additional food.  The result is that we have roughly 5 times the amount of food actually consumed.

This year, I was tasked with dessert.  I am more of a savory type (har har) but I gave it a whirl.  Result?  Banana bread pudding, chocolate sauce, fresh berries, dulce de leche ice cream, and a caramelized banana.  Picture below.

I hope you had a great dinner!

Torchin’ a banana.

1.  So.  Single Ladies by Beyonce.  Let me tell you how this went.

I put my laptop on the table, pulled up the video on  YouTube and announced to my niece and nephew that it was time to dance.  I hit play.

And they were thoroughly unimpressed.

They stood there and stared at Beyonce dancing and then looked at me.

My niece said, “I don’t want to listen to this anymore.”

My nephew said, “Twinkle twinkle!”

Science FAIL.

2.  Last night I ate gingersnaps before bed.  And in my dreams, I fell in love with a ginger.

BigLittleWolf asked me what would happen if I ate chocolate chip cookies before bed.  So I ran to the corner and got these.

Will let you know how it turns out in the morning.

UPDATE – 8:00 A.M.  I don’t remember my dreams, if I had any.  Clearly, chocolate chip cookies wipe your memory or prevent dream formation.

3.  As you know, I like to take pictures of food.  I may have left out the fantastic loaf of French bread and the french fries I enjoyed.  My niece made them for me.  They were delicious and I enjoyed them with a juice box.  And I may have had an apron on at the time.  A very.  Tiny.  Apron.

Man, check out those little fingers and that cute dress.  Just looking at that picture makes me laugh.  She’s a TINY PERSON.

My neighbor brought Little Filthy a treat.  Happy Friday, Little Filthy!

Here’s my eye.

Here’s a piece of Toffifay candy.

Now you know.  Toffifay is made out of eyeballs.

1.  I returned from the Nassau / Paradise Island yesterday after a few days in which the Bahamas decided to experience a cold front.  Not much sun was had but it was still a tremendous amount of fun.  It was, more or less, a family event with adjoining rooms and lots of time with my niece and nephew.  It’s good to spend time with them and the more time I have, the less child-stupid I feel.  Let me give you an example of my child idocy.

The last time I visited my sister, I walked down a hall and into the bathroom and turned to close the door just in time for my niece to have followed me in, eyes watching me closely.  I said, “Uh…um…”  My sister called out from the other room, “Tell her you need P-R-I-V-A-C-Y.”  Me, being the idiot I am, looked at my niece and said, “I need P-R-I-V-A-C-Y.”  My sister said, “Don’t spell it for her!”  I said, “Oh!  I need some privacy.”  And my niece promptly left and informed me that she’d be waiting just outside I wrapped things up.

2.  I did an interview for a podcast on some of my experiences taking pictures in some Chicago restaurant kitchens, particularly L2O, as it coincided with Anthony Bourdain’s latest episode of No Reservations in which he dined in the restaurant.  (Filmed while the Seattle folks were here and despite our best efforts, Bev was not able to stalk him.)  I downloaded it on iTunes and, I have to say, it’s really strange to hear my voice like that.  I was particularly concerned that I’d have pulled a Will Shortz who, while doing a podcast, breathes so loudly into the phone, you want to knock him down and steal his inhaler.

3.  Tonight, Besos came over and I fixed dinner.  We have not had much time together in the last few weeks as I had a cold and suffer serious cold-transference guilt.   I will be happy to crawl into bed next to her tonight and reach for her.

4.  I effectuated a break up between QTMama and one of her boytoys.  At her bidding, mind you.  I’m somewhat tempted to start a service.  Everyone should have his or her lawyer do their breaking up for them.

5.  I’m feeling write-y.  Prepare for blog bombing.

Last night, I attended an anniversary party for a French restaurant of which I’m rather fond.  The Seattle folks ate there while in town visiting.  The theme of the party?  S&M Burlesque.  The best part?  It was a charity fund raiser for schools.  Let me tell you right now, folks, if all school fundraisers were like this, I’d be broke.  The kitchen poured out food, drinks were available at multiple bars and the eye candy…was plentiful.  Here are some shots of the evening.

Oh yeah…there was food there, too.

Funniest part of the night – in the last picture after the cut, you’ll see a tall, striking blonde woman.  She was approached by a middle aged man who introduced himself and then said, “What’s your name?”  She said, “Gigi.”  His response?

“Where’d you go to college?”

I can’t help it.  I laughed out loud.

More food, drink, and eye candy pictures after the cut. (more…)

We started our evening off with a fine dinner at MK.  Oysters on the half-shell and foie gras along with some cocktails to start.  MK generously gave us champagne to go with our meal.  I had their signature porkchop and my mother dined on whitefish with lobster.  We also ate, at Instigator’s suggestion, their pomme frites with truffle cream and let me tell you… I could have eaten them until I died.  They are on my “last meal request” list now.  We had a very light banana bread pudding with a salted caramel that was fantastic.  At one point in the meal, my mother said, “Are you going to take pictures?”  I said, “No…this meal is about you time so no pictures.”  I could tell she was happy but also sort of wanted pictures of the food to remember it all.  The good thing?  The manager happened to see my reservation (I assume that’s how he knew?) and came to the table and we talked about re-visiting the place to get some pictures of the food.  So it all worked out in the end.

Then we went to see Tina.  We were running a little bit behind so I hailed a cab.  The driver stopped, rolled down his window and said, “Where you going?”  I said, “United Center.” He said, “NO, no, I don’t want to go back there!” and then he started to drive off.  I barked, “BIG TIP!” and the brake lights went on.  We got in and got a fast ride over.  His tip was a throat punch.  Okay, not really.

Just before the show, Oprah walked in with Stedman and Gayle.  Flash bulb city.  Then…the show.  It was good and the first big concert my mother has ever been to.  She had a grin on her face the entire time.  My worries that she’d be distracted with thoughts of my grandmother’s health or a difficult family issue from almost exactly one year ago were calmed and that made me happy.  Anyway!  So, Tina Turner has “half-time” because, I suppose, the woman is 68 and just burned 3,000 calories in the first 45 minutes and needs to re-fuel with an Ensure.  The lights go up and my mother is glancing over at a bunch of people taking pictures. I said, “Who are they taking pictures of? Oprah?”  She said, “Some short little white guy.”

Yeah.  It was Tom Cruise.

So, just to recap the evening…

My evening involved my mother, Tina Turner, Oprah and Tom Cruise.

I’m officially gay.