Instigator rolled out of bed to torture me this morning.

I started this morning by putting Egg Beaters in my coffee.  It registered as I brought the cup to my lips.  I still took a sip.  Which should tell you that my judgment at 6 a.m. is questionable.

When I got to the office, I stuck my head in Instigator’s office and said, “Coffee?”  She was neck deep in something so I told her I’d run to get it.  Have I mentioned that Instigator is my work girlfriend?  This is why I know that she drinks a grande iced Americano with extra ice.  I went to Starbucks and picked up coffee and breakfast for her.  I walked into her office and reached out to hand her coffee…

…and she looked different.

I paused as she was talking and tried to figure it out.  She looked nice, which is usual – but something was different.  She looked Extra Nice.

I said, “You look nice.  Did you get your hair done?”

She looked at me, touched her hair and said, “No…this is the I just rolled out of bed look.”

I opened my mouth to say something and shut it quickly.  And then she burst out laughing while I turned red realizing that I’d more or less said she’d look good rolling out of bed.

This is how my day began, folks.

So, Instigator and I had a meeting scheduled for hours today, along with the rest of the legal staff.  Wisely, we chose to sit next to each other to eliminate some boredom.  Let me tell you how that went.

Goofus v. Galant – Or:  Instigator v. Random

• My boss presented me with a certificate for five years of service.  Instigator promptly drew stars on it.
• While I reviewed some notes on a brief presentation I’d be giving later, Instigator played a game on her iPhone.
• I jotted down notes and volunteered to do some research on an issue we were hashing out in the meeting.  Instigator jotted down a note on the edge of my certificate.  It said: “People need to stop asking questions and adding their 2 cents. STFU Y’ALL.”
• Over our lunch break, I began doing some research before returning to my seat with some print-outs.  Instigator returned to her seat, too.  With a sandwich.  10 minutes after we’d resumed the meeting.
• I took notes.  Instigator munched on her sandwich and nodded toward my certificate and whispered, “You can still frame that.  Just cover up my notes with the matting.”

And that, my friends, was my Tuesday.