Random Esquire

I could write this entry all over again.

I feel a little like this dog looks and it is ironic because I feel this way because other people have lost their temper, lost their shit, lost their control.

And I’m just done with it.

My family loves the ocean. So Turks and Caicos was the January get-away this year.

My sister and I are only 13 months apart and have grown closer as the years have gone by. We were sitting on the beach, in about a foot of water, looking out over the turquoise ocean and blue sky. Puffy white clouds were drifting lazily through the sky. I thought, “This is some serious family bonding right here.”

My sister took in a deep breath of air and turned to me.

“I heard that when you get older, your pubic hair turns gray.”

*blink*

I said, “What?”

She said, “When you get older. Your pubic hair turns gray. But that’s not going to happen to me.”

I burst out laughing.

She said, “I’m not kidding! I don’t care how old I am. I’m going to be dragging my oxygen tank into the European Hair Salon and getting that taken care of.”

I got up and brushed the sand from myself.

I said, “Family bonding time is over.”

Welcome to the family.