A Woman Wants to Have Sex with a Man Because…
My sister and I spoke today. She and her husband are experiencing the seven year itch. Only, it appears to have gone from an itch to a rash, pending full breakout of hives. We talked about marriage and men and women. I asked her, “Have you ever heard that ‘a woman wants to have sex with a man because she’s fallen in love with him. A man falls in love with a woman because he wants to have sex with her’?”
My sister started laughing and said, “What?!”
And then we discussed whether or not it had any merit.
So what say you, readers? We all know it isn’t true all the time – I’m just curious about if you think there’s some truth to it at all.
What do you think?
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
July 12th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
I shall have to ponder this for a moment. Up until recently sex and love were not synonymous for me. But now I have someone in my life I’m really, truly in love with so it is.
July 12th, 2010 at 6:57 pm
I don’t really connect love and sex at all. Sometimes I happen to have sex with people that I’m in love with. (Ok, more than sometimes.) However, more frequently (at least in the past), I don’t even -like- the person that I’ve ended up in bed with.
Sex is just sex, and it’s usually fun, no matter what feelings are connected to it. If I’m having sex with someone I’m in love with, it’s mostly because that’s as close as I can possibly get to him/her without melting into them like ice cream on a brownie.
July 12th, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Yeah…I might be emotionally a boy. Hmm.
July 12th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Depends on the woman, but it’s pretty true for me, for the most part.
And the thing about men? Absolutely true. Men are pigs. heh
July 13th, 2010 at 4:56 am
Momma Sunshine summed up men in three words! And she didn’t need two of them!
)
I do indeed believe that men and women view sex differently. For men, it seems largely physical and about the pleasure in the moment.
For women, it seems to be more emotional and while there’s a component of pleasure in the moment, it also connotes a connection to another person that I think men are able to feel or not, at will.
I didn’t sleep with the last man I dated right away. I’d rushed into it before with others and regretted it, and then experienced the death of a friend shortly after the man and I started dating, so I didn’t want to enter into something physical while I was so messed up emotionally.
And lo, a few weeks passed and the day came when all the stars seemed to align and I thought, “Tonight’s the night.”
And we went out for a romantic dinner at a quaint little Italian restaurant.
And we went back to his place.
And I got my things and left.
During dinner, I’d dared use the word “relationship,” and you could hear the needle scratch across the record.
He said he didn’t want to be in a relationship. Which was funny, because I thought we were in one.
I was wrong. And I’m really glad I never slept with him.
The End.
July 13th, 2010 at 4:57 am
P.S. I just realized that my “custom” emoticon translates into something different here in the comments. What appears above wasn’t what I was goin’ for!
The End End.
July 13th, 2010 at 5:01 am
My significant other and I started out as a fling/possible rebound on my part and no I definitely was not in love with him. More like lusting after his body. Then he started with the “feelings” and pursued a relationship (surprised the hell outta me).
July 13th, 2010 at 9:36 am
If you would have asked me this 5 years ago, I would have said love wasn’t a part of it. Now though I think Love should very much be a part of it.
July 14th, 2010 at 7:32 am
No – to both parts. Just no.
You can have sex without love, or love without sex, and they are not necessarily connected (at least not while I was a single woman). Don’t get me wrong – sex with love is great. But not always the case for either a man or a woman.
The ‘saying’ is pretty sexist. Like the ONLY reason a woman would want to have sex with a guy is she’s in love and the ONLY reason a man would want to fall in love with a woman is to have sex with her. That is a very simplistic – and sexist – view of men, women and sex.
July 14th, 2010 at 9:42 pm
I tend to agree with Instigator – however, I will say that I think there is a grain of truth to the saying on a very general scale.
I considered swapping the genders so that it read:
“a man wants to have sex with a woman because he’s fallen in love with her. A woman falls in love with a man because she wants to have sex with him”
and then I compared it to the original:
“a woman wants to have sex with a man because she’s fallen in love with him. A man falls in love with a woman because he wants to have sex with her”
and I did not think to myself, “They are both completely wrong.” One seemed *more* wrong than the other.
So I concluded that I think there is a smidge of truth to the saying.
-R.