Culinary Chubby, Eating Off Something, and Office Hucks.
1. I got a culinary chubby the other day. Here’s how it happened.
I walked down the hall toward my loft and smelled… Cake and bacon. Cake and bacon! I think that if I had smelled coffee, I might have flopped around on the ground.
2. There’s something satisfying about eating food *off* of something.
Like, ribs. Or corn on the cob. Or food on a stick. Whatever.
3. Instigator was in my office today and we were talking about a recent dinner out after which… we hugged each other. See, we’re co-workers. So we don’t hug each other – despite the fact that Instigator is my work girlfriend.
I asked Instigator, “Is that the first time we’ve hugged?”
Instigator stared at me. She said, “What?”
I repeated, “Is that the first time we’ve hugged?”
Her eyes got larger and she said, “WHAT?”
I said, “I asked if that is the first we have ever hugged each other.”
Instigator said, “Oh my God, I thought you asked if that was the first time we fucked.”
I burst out laughing and then I said it a few times outloud again and sure enough, it does sort of sound like I asked her if that was the first time we’d fucked.
I’ll see if HR calls me tomorrow.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
July 6th, 2010 at 10:13 pm
I think that is the first time I’ve ever heard the term Culinary Chubby. I seriously laughed hard.
Bacon and cake huh? Not sure that would do it for me… now cake and turkey? That would totally give me a foodgasm.
July 6th, 2010 at 10:49 pm
You know what’s worse than someone mistaking your words? Mis-saying your words and everyone noticing and giving your shit for two days straight.
A friend’s wife pronounces “again” “agine.” That’s an ongoing one.
July 6th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
2….or whipped cream on a snack tray?
July 7th, 2010 at 3:48 am
Mmmmmmmmm……….cake and bacon. together again.
July 7th, 2010 at 3:57 am
1. Meh. Cake? Now if it were a *vanilla* cake maybe. Vanilla and bacon? Mmmm…
2. Or a woman’s body part…
3. Dang…when did you become such a mumble mouth?
July 7th, 2010 at 4:42 am
1. I thought you were over bacon? And cupcakes, which are really just very small cake.
2. I read “There’s something satisfying about eating food *off* of something.” And I was almost certain that you were going to start talking about those sushi girls.
3. Instigator must have (or think you have) a really strange definition of fucking.
July 7th, 2010 at 11:11 am
BACON BACON BACON!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm