Random Esquire

1.  Listen up, ladies: Getting a French manicure won’t make you classy.  You’re not fooling anyone.

2.  I got a text message today that said “Kissing leads to forking.”

That’s right, people.  If you aren’t careful, you’ll go from kissing to forking.

3.  Did I mention that I bought new laptop because my old one was making a jacked up noise?  The fan was making horrible noises.  So I gave it to my parents to use/fix.  And then I went out and spend $2200 on a new mac book pro.  My father?  He fixed the laptop.

By replacing a $22 fan.

D’oh!

Oh, did you hear what ruined the fan?

DOG HAIR.

4.   Is it bad that when the people on Intervention readily agree to go to rehab, I doubt they ever had a real commitment to the addiction? I mean, come on.  I’ve put up more of a fight over a piece of pie.

5.  My left ass cheek is sore.

I can’t tell if this is because I am, in some way, favoring it.

Or if someone else is.

BWAH HA HA.

Okay, I’m dumb.