The Italian thinks you are a good looking man. And he does mean that sexually.
I spoke with The Italian yesterday.
You remember him, right?
He’s the Jewish guy.
Glad we’re on the same page.
The Italian has resumed his former love affair with a Venezuelan woman. The most obvious indication of this is that he can not stop talking at 100 miles per minute. Here’s a snippet of our most recent conversation which we held over the phone while in the office. Vinnie is his co-worker.
The Italian: “You are a very attractive man. And I do mean that sexually. That’s my favorite thing to say. I say that to everyone. Mainly to my boyfriend, Vinnie. Did you know Vinnie was my boyfriend? Oh, she [hot Venezuelan girlfriend] hates it when I call him that. But I call him that. VINNIE! Do you like it when I call you my girlfriend??”
[Heard in the background]: *SIGH* “I’m better with it since you started seeing [hot Venezuelan girlfriend] again.”
The Italian: “HA HA HA, He doesn’t mind! He’s my boyfriend! He’s in the next cube! We share a cubical wall!”
RandomEsq: “Is there a glory hole in your cubicle wall? You can tell me. I am your friend.”
The Italian: “Oh no no no no, no glory hole! RIGHT, VINNIE?! Oh, I just love Vinnie. He’s my boyfriend.”
RandomEsq: “Is your dick in the glory hole right now?”
The Italian: “HAHAHAHA! NO.”
RandomEsq: “You’ve been getting a lot of sex, haven’t you?”
Whenever The Italian gets a lot of sex, he is wound up like a whirling dervish.
The Italian: “OHhhhh yessssssss. LOTS OF SEX. The best. We can never break up again. It can’t happen. I’m short, bald, and ugly. I can never break up with [hot Venezuelan girlfriend] again!”
RandomEsq: “DUDE. What is wrong with you!”
The Italian: “Drugs. NOOooo, ha ha ha! NOW THIS IS THE STORY ALL ABOUT HOW MY LIFE GOT FLIPPED TURNED UPSIDE DOWN…”
and then he was off. Singing Fresh Prince.
Yes. Seriously.
I almost want to give out his number so you call can experience it.
Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.