Papertowels, Dog Dukes, Umbilical Cords and Blackberries.
1. Who are these people in those ads who wash their dishes with paper towels? You know what we call strong paper towels? Cloth. Quit being wasteful.
2. I think I touched a dog duke with my finger today. Hole in the poop bag. That’s an unpleasant surprise. I wouldn’t say it’s up there with discovering a hole in a condom. But it’s up there.
3. IKnow! had a baby. She worked on her blackberry while in the hospital, while in labor. Of course, she told everyone she was in labor so they would recognize her dedication. Sycophant. I let our boss know she had her baby. I also told him that she cut the umbilical cord with her blackberry.
4. You know what makes you feel bad? When you accidentally bonk your dog on the nose and he pauses, squints his eyes and shakes out a sneeze. Sorry, little man.
5. I’m hungry. Somebody feed me!
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
May 26th, 2010 at 9:48 pm
Number 4 came out of nowhere. Where do you get this stuff.
May 27th, 2010 at 3:23 am
Bingo on the paper towels. They’re for cleaning up accidents – from my dog, whom I’ve also accidently “bonked” – but I usually giggle afterwards, ’cause he makes the most quizzical face.
May 27th, 2010 at 3:35 am
Hungry? I’m sure I could come up with a nice snack tray for you.
heh
May 27th, 2010 at 3:41 am
I’m hungry, too. Why don’t you feed ME??
You’re so selfish sometimes.
May 27th, 2010 at 8:18 am
Hehe. Duke.
May 27th, 2010 at 8:20 am
i was really curious as to how ubilical cords were going to factor into this blog post. that was not how i expected it to happen.
am pretty sure that should i ever get pregnant one day, i will probably tweet my way through labor. you need a distraction, right??
May 27th, 2010 at 11:53 am
I thought your dog shits in a box?
May 27th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
@BobbiJanay – I accidentally bonked him and he sneezed.
@MommaSunshine – shame on you!
@Chic – eyeballpeeekturecreampuffduke
@Alice – I’m curious as to if you formed an expectation on how I would factor in umbilical cords. heh.
May 29th, 2010 at 8:29 pm
I enjoy reading your random thoughts. However, I am a Heil Grammatik and this post
“4. You know what makes you feel badly?”
is wrong, wrong, wrong. There is no object in that sentence. Two adverbs do not equal an object. This sentence should read, “You know what makes you feel bad”? I recognize your intelligence and I expect you can learn how to use adverbs properly. Your puppy is darling, BTW. I’ve always wanted a Pug. First I have to wait for the Spaniel mix to go (Love my Marble)!, then I’ll get a Rottweiler, then I’ll find the Pug of my dreams.
May 29th, 2010 at 9:47 pm
While I admit a total addiction to my crackberry, there are places I just refuse to bring mine. The labor and delivery ward being top on that list.
Just ewww on the doggy doodie. Blech! That’ll teach you to forget your paper towels won’t it?
They’re not just for doing dishes with you know!
I accidently stepped on Lulu’s little puggy foot the other day and she gave me a look that said, “thanks for crushing my foot, dumb ass!”
Hungry? I haz M&M’s. Wanna share?
May 30th, 2010 at 8:55 am
@PolishKatie – D’oh! You’re entirely correct. Fixed – and thank you.