Won: $900,000. Lost: Pride.
Dear Sir,
You bet $100,000 on the winning horse at the Kentucky Derby. That is balls out. You rock.
Except…
your hair is telling the world, “I am insecure.”
Maybe good hair pieces are expensive. If so, let me congratulate you once more on your recent winnings. I have a suggestion on how you can spend it.
Or…. you could just be bald. Because who gives a shit. Women actually know that you and your sperm aren’t all limp-dicked because of it. Also, who needs hair? You just won $900,000. Hell, I might trade ya.
Nahhhh, I’m gonna keep my hair.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
May 1st, 2010 at 5:43 pm
OMG that’s BAD!! But what a lucky sonofabitch.
May 1st, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Obviously there is no relationship between good hair styles and money…just look at Donald Trump. I’d much rather look at a bald head than that that whatever the f*ck you want to call that.
May 2nd, 2010 at 10:39 am
omiwerd. wtf. what is with these rich ass men and their bad hair? it just makes his teeth look fake too…
May 2nd, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Well with the bad hair and the Taxes he is gonna have to pay on the winnings you are better off keeping your own hair.
May 3rd, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Ewww. Just ewww.
May 4th, 2010 at 3:49 am
It looks like Jack Ritter didn’t really die. He was just so embarrassed about his hair plugs that he went into hiding. Your cover is blown, Jack. Come on out of hiding, a Three’s Company reunion is waiting for you.
May 9th, 2010 at 8:21 pm
holy crap batman that is some nasty hair piece…