Faux Assholes and Faux Whores: Ne’er the Twain Shall Meet
I was speaking with Beth today and, upon recalling that both she and Besos like the show House, I began to ask her if she, too, found certain men (whom Besos finds attractive) attractive. Here, let me show you how this went:
RE: What about Gordon Ramsey?
Beth: Gordon’s attractive in a what-an-asshole! way.
RE: See right there. That kills me – That there even is a “what an asshole” way of attractiveness.
Beth: Oh, I guess it’s like the whole bad-boy thing women are attracted to.
RE: This just stumps me. When I think of what I want in a chick, I never think I’d like a whore with spending problems.
Beth: As for sleeping with Gordon, I’d go on a date with him and see what he was like as a “real” person.
RE: Wait wait wait. Back up. What do you mean “what he was like as a ‘real’ person”? You want him to actually be nice?
Beth: Well, I presume he has as TV persona that’s more extreme than his everyday persona. I’d want him to be interesting. And yes, kind.
RE: So, the thing that first attracted you to him, you don’t actually find attractive? Man, seriously, women love faux assholes.
Beth: I think it’s his take-charge-ness that really attracts me.
RE: Guys don’t want to date a girl who is a whore, take her home, and then find out she’s a prude. They like a girl who is sweet and then are pleasantly surprised when she turns out to be a whore. See how that works? That makes sense to me.
If I may now direct your attention to my earlier post: Do men like whores?
So, tell me… Do women like bad boys and if so, why? I have a theory on this but want to hear what you all have to say.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
April 26th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
Yes, because they’re hot… oh, and they want to be the one to “fix” them. There’s a certain accomplishment to “bagging the whale” like Annette Bening did with Warren Beatty back in the day.
April 26th, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Yes, we seem to be attracted to the bad boys, but the benefit of this is that we actaully *know* they’re an asshole. What’s depressing is when we meet the “nice guy” who pretends to be nice in the beginning, but turns out to be an asshole in disguise. Just saying …
April 26th, 2010 at 7:52 pm
I don’t like “bad boys,” I like geeky boys. Bad boys almost always have dirty fingernails. I -do- like House though, but it’s because he’s smart, not because he’s a douche.
April 26th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
I’ve never understood the bad boy thing. I frankly find nothing sexier than a guy who actually *likes* women.
April 26th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Yep. Cause they’re FUN! But – not to marry. Bad boys make wildly fun boyfriends (though they usually will break your heart sooner or later) but they make bad husbands.
April 26th, 2010 at 10:16 pm
I have no idea anymore.
April 26th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
I was never the bad boy type… I’ve always been the “talk nerdy to me” type.
Then I met my BLT. He’s this lovely combination of Sweetness with a pinch of dirty bad boy tossed in there. He’s an artist, plays the guitar, loves his black bad boy clothes and rock and roll…but he’s a single daddy who does his 2 year old little girls hair and holds her until she falls asleep.
I think that’s the key… you have to find a man who has a little of both, but not too much of either one.
April 27th, 2010 at 3:13 am
I’m not into bad boys, actually. I like the nice guys.
Boring, I know.
April 27th, 2010 at 7:39 am
Opposites attract? Maybe we “good girls” are intrigued by people who act so oppositely of the way we conduct our lives.
Mind you, every man I’ve ever dated has been a “nice” guy, though all eventually revealed some jerk-ish quality (not coincidentally, exposed in the process of breaking up with me, like the guy who let me come to his place – with my usual overnight bag – and then broke up with me; dude, you wanna break up with me? YOU come to ME) but I can see the appeal of dating a “bad boy” if only to explore the side of ourselves that lies dormant.
But bad boys aren’t my thing. Now, *musicians* … I’m all over THEM.
April 27th, 2010 at 8:35 am
I don’t understand the Gordon Ramsey attraction at ALL!
That said, I think I had my bad boy phase but am so over it now. The games and bullshit I can do without, thankyouverymuch.
And as one commenter pointed out, what’s worse are the “nice guys” that you later find out are really assholes with convincing disguises.
I’d much rather have a genuine good guy who is a REAL MAN and can take charge when and where it counts.
April 27th, 2010 at 9:32 am
Well, Mindy, so would be all! : o )
Apparently, they’re an endangered species.
April 27th, 2010 at 9:41 am
Hmmm….I think my hubby has a thing for whores….case in point the first 2 reasons he fell in love with me-
-came to visit me at work and the top 3 buttons of my dress popped open exposing boobs in a pushup and he let me finish vacuuming in this state then told me my boobs were hanging out- he seriously went home that night and told his family he met the girl he was going to marry. Based on my boobs. Nice.
-on our first date took me out for dinner and as we walked back to his (shitty) car I was chewing gum. I then also took the mint he offered and popped it into my mouth. All confused he noticed I didn’t remove the gum before eating the mint and asked ‘aren’t you going to take out your gum’. When I nonchalantly commented that I could chew gum and suck on a mint at the same time he told me ‘I think I am falling in love with you’.
OMG…just figured out I am a whore. heh heh
April 27th, 2010 at 9:42 am
oh and by the way, the boobs out while vacumming happened BEFORE we had even gone on a date yet. I guess it was my way of flirting?
April 27th, 2010 at 11:13 am
Dude, isn’t that why Besos kinda likes you? The “what an asshole” way of attractiveness??
Oh wait. NO NO, that’s ME!
April 27th, 2010 at 11:49 am
I liked them in high school, and in college. And apparently when I married my first husband. But at some point (approximately 25 in my case) we usually get over it and go looking for the nice guys.
RE – This means you should date younger women. Clearly.
April 27th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
unfortunately, yes, most of us do. am kind of over them though – i like the geeky ones that don’t spend all their time watching sports.
April 27th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
i’m with barb. it’s one thing if you willinginly date an asshole who is up front about being an asshole; you can then decide if you’re a) just in it for fun, b) want to try to “fix him,” or c) i guess some people actually enjoy dating assholes? but WAY WORSE (and far too common) is the asshole who MASQUERADES as a nice guy, thereby tricking nice girls who don’t have some weird fixer-upper fetish into dating them and then screwing them over.
April 28th, 2010 at 9:08 am
I think first of all, some women get used to playing defense against men who are overtly trying to get into their pants using various “nice guy” and “smooth” tactics. Then they meet this guy who isn’t syrupy, and doesn’t seem hell-bent on charming them (aka, an *sshole). They are intrigued. Why isn’t this guy playing the game? Is he really not interested? Maybe they can GET him interested. Ugh.
That usually follows into another woman problem I’ve seen. When some woman put time and effort into a relationship, they’re like compulsive gamblers- the more they put on the table, the harder it is to walk away. No matter how bad the odds are, they think that if they just stick it out, they’ll hit the jackpot.
May 1st, 2010 at 9:24 am
This comment string reminds me why I’m single. : o )
May 3rd, 2010 at 6:46 pm
I was just thinking about the phrase the other day “Lady in the Drawing Room, Mistress in the Bedroom” or “lady on the streets, freak between the sheets” – however you want to put it.
I’ve never really been into the whole Bad Boy thing. My rule of thumb is usually if he looks like lots of girls would be into him stay far far away. I don’t know why, thats just how I think. I don’t think really good looking guys are capable of being “nice guys” I’m bigoted against good looking men!