Random Esquire

1.  Apparently, I’d been doing something that Besos found less than charming.

I know.

I was just as surprised as you.

This came to light when her head exploded, spreading ash across much of the midwest thereby prompting the FAA to cease air travel for nearly 24 hours.

Perhaps you heard.

2.  I then informed Besos that it would be helpful if she told me these things when they occurred.  I said, “When a dog poops in the living room, you have to catch him.  You’re not supposed to just find it and then go get the dog and rub his face in it.  By then, he doesn’t understand. You have to catch him in the act.  I didn’t know I’d been pooping in the living room.”

I looked up from my meal to find her staring at me, chewing thoughtfully.  I said, “Bad analogy?”

She nodded.

3.  Besos and I then had a conversation about my alleged lack of sensitivity in one of my recent blog entries.  She was quite stern.  She said, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  She wasn’t familiar with the ..um, the joke about rolling a girl in flour.  After I explained it to her, I watched her sit there and try to look stern but fail because she was forcing herself not to laugh.  +1 Random.

4.  Besos then mentioned an incident that happened about a year ago while she was at her brother’s place and her parents were visiting.  It seems she was in the room next to her parents and *cough* heard some things.  She had previously described said things as ‘baby talk’.  However, she elaborated on the story through shudders of disgust.

I said, “Ohhhh.  I didn’t realize your dad was going for penetration.”

I looked up at her staring at me with an open mouth, teeth bared and eyes almost squeezed shut.

“Agghhhhhh!!!!”

And then I understood why she was upset.  Because she caught me pooping in the living room and let me know it was wrong.

See, I’m really not that complicated.