When I Was a Kid…
1. When I was around age 3 or so, my parents had a party. Apparently, I got out of bed, found an half open can of beer and finished it. They found me sleeping in a corner. Oh well.
2. Not sure how old I was – maybe 6 – when I took an apple out of the fridge and took a bite and decided right then that I hated Red Delicious apples. That is an ironic name. While red, they are *not* delicious. I didn’t want to finish it but I was taught not to waste food. So, I couldn’t just toss it on to the top of the trash.
So I flushed it down the toilet.
Apparently, I decided that perhaps I’d just gotten a particularly bad apple. So I got another.
It wasn’t any better.
So I flushed that one down the toilet, as well.
The next thing I really recall was my father shoving a snaking tool down into the toilet and scowling at both my sister and me as he tried to unclog the toilet, asking, “Did you do this??” I denied it earnestly. I’m not really sure what he thought when two apples with a small bite out of each bobbed up to the surface. Goddamn small pipes.
3. For years, as children, my sister and I used to sing a song together. We sang “You’ve Got A Friend.” My sister was in town this past weekend and we spent the day together on Monday. Just the two of us.
As similar as we are, we’ve never been competitive. As different as we are, we genuinely like each other. I really couldn’t ask for a better friend.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
April 6th, 2010 at 8:28 pm
This reminds me that when I was 6 as well I did a similar thing! I opened a banana, decided I didn’t want it, but I was taught the same thing as you. So I flushed the banana AND the peel down the toilet. This didn’t work out very well and my parents soon came looking for me. I swore up and down it was NOT me. I’m an only child…
April 6th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
My kids flushed beanie babies once…that was fun…
April 6th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
Those are pretty funny stories. I love this blog post, I might have to copy your idea! Thanks for sharing a bit into the life of a young Random.
April 6th, 2010 at 9:27 pm
This post is very sweet. Big smile, love.
April 7th, 2010 at 12:18 am
Awww…I wish I had a real sister. Or a real brother… -sigh-
I don’t think I ever flushed anything inappropriate down the toilet, but for about 3 months I hid my (giant, banana flavored) antibiotics in the sofa. No one could figure out why I wasn’t getting any better. Until we moved.
April 7th, 2010 at 3:14 am
when I was around 3 or so I got into some homemade wine. I, too, drank a bunch and then ended up sleeping it off. Before that I was apparently quite entertaining until they realized that I was sneaking into the other room and chugging some wine in between performances.
I did the same thing a couple of months ago with CBG. heh.
April 7th, 2010 at 8:17 am
first of all.. Red Delicious are my favorite apples!
secondly… I’ve been told, when I was 3 I took a rock and scratched around the outside of my dad’s car… 1 scratch all the way around.
April 7th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
2. Red Delicious are good! You just have to find the ones where their skin looks like it has stripes…those are the crisp ones. You can throw the mushy ones in the toilet.
3. It’s wonderful that you and your sister has that kind of relationship. I’m jealous.