Funsuck. Who’s Your Funsuck?
I introduced my sister to the term “Funsuck” this weekend.
Here’s how the conversation happened – and to preface it, I’ll say that my sister has a friend – Sara – who, upon first meeting her, I identified as pleasant enough but also just as likely to hang you by the feet in her lair and deposit her eggs in you. She’s… stiff. Just everything about her appears rigid. When I asked her if she had any siblings, she stated, “One. We don’t get along.”
Well. Aren’t you just lovely?
Anyway – back to funsucks.
Sister: Sara is having a big 40th birthday party. She decided that if she wasn’t married by the time she’s 40, she’d throw herself a big party.
RE: You know why she’s not married? Because she’s a funsuck.
Sister: RANDOM! (She was laughing.) What??
RE: A Funsuck! Someone who sucks all the fun out of life.
Sister: (laughing) She even sent out invitations.
RE: Does it say “Happy 40th” to me??
Sister: No…. they are calling it a Family Celebration.
RE: Does it say “Family Celebration in lieu of wedding“?
Sister: No!
RE: What a funsuck.
You know the people I’m talking about, right? This is the person who, through some unseen force, is able to drain the life blood out of a group of people. A person who has just gone sour, like milk. Or like mayo left in the sun to turn yellow. Everyone else has to accommodate or compensate in some way by putting on a smile and paying attention to them, etc. My sister and I refer to this as shaking a rattle at a baby. Because when the baby fusses, someone has to go shake a rattle until he calms again and everyone else can return to having a good time.
Funsucks, of course, are closely related to mopes – who, as I have said, should be put down.
Dude, tell me who your funsuck is.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
March 24th, 2010 at 8:24 am
Yep, I have a funsuck. We call her a Debbie Downer and she does suck the fun out of a room rather quickly. As soon as she leaves things return to normal and get FUN again.
March 24th, 2010 at 9:20 am
I have so very little tolerance for funsucking people. SO VERY LITTLE. My conversations with them usually go like this:
Go away.
March 24th, 2010 at 11:59 am
In my group of girlfriends we do have a funsucker. I swear she is such a drain. We call her “buzz kill” because we are all just having fun and she kills our buzz..then we have to drink more!
March 24th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I’ve had a couple of funsuckers cross my path and I wish I could have been like QT and simply say “go away”. It took some time to remove their claws from my life but what a relief when they finally did.
March 24th, 2010 at 4:47 pm
I don’t have a funsucker in my life anymore. The divorce should be finalized soon.
HA!!
It’s true, though.
March 24th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
I work with a funsucker. She’s a nightmare, even more so now that she’s pregnant. Ugh.
March 24th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
I try to stay away from funsuckers as much as possible. Life is supposed to be fun.
March 24th, 2010 at 7:06 pm
Ditto CBG’s comment. QT, may I please borrow your lovely balls (I saw that as nicely as possible), as I need to be able to tell some other funsuckers I know to just “go away”. Sometimes I need to grow a set. A nice, pretty set.
March 24th, 2010 at 8:21 pm
They are attracted to me. They lure me in with their compliments about how nice, sweet and funny I am. I fall for it like a fat kid on a smartie every time. They seem to have all the good gossip too- the ‘lowdown’ on everyone. I can’t resist. They start throwing in a few complaints and I soothe them and build them up. I become the ‘Andrea always makes me feel better/laugh/know the right thing to say’ person and they are all over me and my time. Next thing you know I realize I am in too deep and I am avoiding their calls. I get the ‘where were you last night?’ …’why didn’t you answer your calls?’. My friends with balls like QT’s now threaten to kick these friends to the curb unless I grab some nuts and do it myself first. I lame out. I become moody and depressed too and I whine at them till they get frustrated I am not listening to them and I get them to dump me. You know what’s sad..I realize that these people don’t know anything about me as we only talk about them. One thing I notice is a clue to a funsucker is when you try to talk about yourself and they always turn it back to them. It becomes a contest of wills.
I’m now at the point if I start reading someone’s blog and it’s all bitchy with no humour I am so turned off!
By the way, we call them Debbie Downer’s too and Ronny Rainclouds for the boys.
I am probably going to have nightmares now tonight- all these friends I have gotten rid of ganging up and making me hang out with them for a girl’s weekend somewhere where there is no shopping. I am throwing up in my mouth RIGHT NOW!
March 25th, 2010 at 10:25 am
Pippi – But of course. I will mail them to you.
March 25th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
oooh i had a major funsucker “friend” for a long time. we stopped hanging out.
March 25th, 2010 at 8:48 pm
I got a huge kick out of the post. I started to think of who the current funsuckers were in my life, and I couldn’t really come up with any.
Huh. I wonder if that means I am the funsucker. That comment just cracked me up.
March 26th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
…Family Celebration? I’m so embarrassed for her.
March 28th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
My mother, but unlike QT I can’t really tell her to go away. DAng all of you who get to get rid of yours.
March 28th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
I’m still laughing at Andrea’s comment.
March 29th, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Having an “I’m Not Married” party is really pathetic. Sorry but I had to say it. It is. Why can’t you just have a party w/out announcing it’s because you’re not married?
Also, one of my very best friend’s is a FunSuck. She is also my daughter’s aunt so I can’t exactly kick her to the curb. And I DO love her – but she can be a definite FunSuck.
Love the Oscar the Grouch pic.
March 29th, 2010 at 11:31 pm
I’m with CBG… My Funsuck should be signing those divorce papers any day now.
Freedom, sweet Freedom!
March 29th, 2010 at 11:33 pm
oh, I do have a lady in one of my crafting groups who always has something to bitch about, always negative… always opinionated.
She’s got the ability to make a whole room grow quiet while she bitches aloud to nobody in particular.