Top Lip Pull, Transition Lenses, Keep Moving!, Hoarders/Intervention, and Instigator’s Balls.
1. Have you ever seen this? A woman has a big smile on her face but then, in order to remove said smile, she sort of has to pull her top lip down over her top teeth, thereby – for a brief moment – making an odd monkey face? I find this slightly off-putting.
2. I see a dude on my way to work often and his head is just too small for his body. I think I’ve even written about this before. It isn’t vastly too small; it’s just slightly too small for his body. Just enough for me to notice from the corner of my vision. As if this weren’t enough, the guy wears those Transition lenses and so his glasses are that odd tinted color on very sunny days. I mean, that all just makes for an odd package, right?
3. I got into a minor confrontation on Sunday. I was standing along the street in Chinatown with Besos and another friend waiting for Sitcom and her boyfriend when we were approached by an apparently homeless man who said something about helping him get a bowl of soup.
Now, if you know me at all, you know that I actually have a bit of a soft spot when it comes to this – at times. This, however, was not one of those times.
I said, “No.” He stood there and said something like, “Hey…I’m just asking for…” with a slight asshole tone.
And I said, “NO. Keep moving.”
He got a little aggressive and said, “YOU keep moving.”
I said, “I was standing here. You were moving. So I can’t keep moving.”
It went on a little longer after that. Then at some point, you realize that you’re having a perfectly ridiculous conversation with a crazy person. I’m not sure which one of us realized this first. But he moved on.
4. I’m over watching Hoarders. Every episode is the same. And now, even with intervention, some part of cheers when the addicted person is like, “Hell no, I’m not going.” And then doesn’t go to treatment! Balls out. I realize that is all kinds of wrong. But there you have it.
5. Speaking of balls out, Instigator is all kinds of balls out at work lately. She has no problem saying to the powers that be, “You suck!” Churro and I decided she has the biggest balls in the office. She bought me lunch yesterday. She made a point to suggest I mention this because I have previously mentioned taking her to lunch and she did not appreciate sounding like a kept woman. I could have reassured her by noting that no one would be under that impression simply due to the tracks she was leaving behind her… from her balls dragging on the ground.
But I didn’t.
Share This
Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
March 3rd, 2010 at 8:41 am
1) I would need to see a picture.
2) Yes, small headed people and Transition lenses make for an odd combination. Especially small headed, bald people with Transition lenses.
3) Good for you, bad ass (I say that as a compliment)
4) I am a minimalist. Hoarders, the show, makes me gag a bit.
5) Did she wear lipstick yesterday?
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:44 am
1. I can say honestly I have never seen this.
2. I have never seen this either, but for some reason I’m thinking of a cartoon character right now, just can’t remember the name.
4. I’m with Pippi on this one.
5. Instigator rocks!!
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:31 pm
1. This is caused by smiling too hard and/or for too long, which allows the top teeth to dry. Then there is no sliding of the lip over the teeth, its like a velcro removal or something. Before cheerleading tryouts/competitions I used to rub vaseline on my front teeth to prevent this. No monkey face for me. Just slimy teeth for a few minutes.
2. Transition lenses are repulsive.
3. I’m glad you stuck to your guns. We all know he wasn’t buying a damn bowl of soup. He was probably buying a hit of crack!
4. That show grosses me out! Some of them even hoard… TRASH! wtf!?!
5. balls dragging… lol
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:42 pm
5. Instigator definitely rocks!
Did her balls *spark* as they skid across the ground?
March 3rd, 2010 at 6:19 pm
I watched two episodes of Hoarders with Sunshine and I think I’m already over it. One of the episodes had a woman who hoarded food and the place was unbelievably disgusting. Where do you even go from there?
These people shouldn’t even WANT to agree to go on this show. It’s fucking embarrassing.
March 4th, 2010 at 12:04 am
Hoarders for me is like when you pass a car accident. If I happen upon it, I totally have to stop and look, Bt I don’t go out of my way looking for it.
I know a guy with the opposite problem… transition lenses and a head slightly too large. I think it’s probably just as odd looking as your beanie headed companion.
March 4th, 2010 at 2:23 am
You know that homeless man is right now telling someone about the crazy friend he encountered earlier. Don’t worry though, he’s telling the story to his imaginary friend.
March 4th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Not that you needed it… I would have, um, backed you up… but I was not wearing my ass-kicking dress. I was wearing my pho-eating dress that seemed more appropriate at the time.
March 4th, 2010 at 10:29 pm
I am SO addicted to Hoarders but I still totally get what you’re saying. A lot of the episodes ARE the same and some of the cases seem like they could be on Clean House w/ Neicie instead of Hoarders. And she’s talk some goddamn sense into them too.