Lady Date Penelope Adventure: Molested at Millennium Park
You may recall that two weeks ago, I had the distinct pleasure of dinner with four really fantastic women. This little outing was promptly nicknamed my Lady Date by Dysfunction Junction. Sitcom was one of those lovely women and knows well my fascination with Pe (as she is known in Spain) – a.k.a. Penelope Cruz - and she brought me a gift which was promptly named: Lady Date Penelope.
So far, Lady Date Penelope has planned a nice getaway to some Spanish beaches as well as offered to teach me Spanish…with her hips.
Last week, on a cold and cloudy Chicago Friday, I decided to take Lady Date Penelope ice skating in Chicago’s Millennium Park.
She ended up in the arms of a strange man who attempted to put the moves on her! I do not kid, friends. See?
How did this happen? Continue on to find out.
Our visit began pleasantly enough with a visit to the ice skating rink.
Lady Date Penelope says, “We do have such things in Spain. That is for you in the States. And in Canadia.”
As we walked around the rink, Lady Date Penelope wanted to be whisked around the ice. Soon enough, someone appeared who seemed up to the task.
It did not take long for this gentleman to notice Lady Date Penelope and soon, he was asking for a trip around the ice with her. I am not the jealous type so I did not object. He took her carefully in his hand.
It did not take long, however, before I noticed that her Spanish hips could not be denied his attentions. And soon, I found him whispering sweet nothings into her ear.
What then followed was what you saw above… he attempted to kiss her Spanish-ness.
I looked up and saw the look in her eyes:
They said: “Save me from this man from Canadia!”
And so I stepped in and took care of the situation.
We do not tolerate the wild and crazy antics of our neighbors to the North quite so well when they make our Spanish women plead for rescue.
Stay tuned: Pe and I will be back with more of our adventures around the city.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
January 25th, 2010 at 11:25 am
You’re a nut… Which I find endearing so it’s okay. I’ll still be your friend
T
January 25th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
Is it wrong that I’m really anticipating Pe’s next adventure?
January 25th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
The Penelope molester is pretty cute…
January 26th, 2010 at 1:03 am
Hahaha, priceless ! At least Little Filthy wasn’t molesting her on the floor.
January 26th, 2010 at 1:06 am
@Tiffany – I have some nuttish tendencies, yes.
@CBG – Not wrong at all. One might say entirely predictable. heh.
@Susan – *laugh* I’ll try to pick good LDP molesters to keep you entertained.
@Sandra – That’s true – it’s always a good day when Little Filthy doesn’t molest your date on the floor.
January 26th, 2010 at 11:28 am
LDP needs to go on the navy pier ferris wheel and be photographed, me thinks…
January 26th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
Does she really say Canadia?
January 26th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
i. cannot. stop. laughing. BWAHAHAHAHA
January 26th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Haha! I was cracking up when I read this post last night and I couldn’t figure out why I found it so funny. Then it hit me as I was drying my hair, because it was so something my 13 year old niece would do.
I mean no disrespect by it, I find it very funny. She is funny girl who drew a picture of her favorite band member, named him Herman and carried him around everywhere for the next 6 months, trying to get random people to take pictures with him or talk to him. It was hilarious. I’m not ashamed to admit I made out with him once just to egg my niece on, because I’m a fun aunt like that. Sadly, afterwards I found out he was underage. It was a low moment in my life.
Happy trails with Penelope!
January 27th, 2010 at 5:09 am
Ah, that Penelope. She sure does get around.
January 27th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Wow I love the LDP adventures, I can’t wait to see where you go next. Also you need to be more careful with her, so that the strange men won’t get to her so easily next time.