QT’s Hymen, Work Wife, CERN, and I….am a biter.
1. Yesterday, I went to QTMama‘s blog and nearly choked on my coffee when I read the title entry: “My Hymen and Random Esquire.”
It isn’t every day you see something like that. And by ‘something like that’, I mean QT’s hymen. Because let’s face it. No one’s seen that thing since 1987.
2. I received an e-mail today from a co-worker who does a great deal of work on contracts for me. She’s very detail oriented and seldom misses anything. I, however, have been underwater working on deals and so she had some outstanding items with me about which she needed my legal opinion. Her e-mail politely laid out those items, generally, as such:
a. You have this, review that, get back to me on this.
b. See the attached e-mail. Review language, provide your review and approval.
c. Open the document attached, check x and y, please approve.
And at the end of the e-mail was this line:
“Dinner will be ready at 7:30 p.m. and don’t forget to leave your dry cleaning on my table tomorrow morning.”
So. I guess I’ve got a work wife to go along with my work girlfriend.
3. Oh, hey, CERN – Get a move on with that teletransport device. Awesome, thanks.
4.
What you talkin’ about, Attorney?
5. It has come to my unfortunate attention that I… am a biter. See, I think that more people would be biters if they realized how good it feels on your teeth.
There were signs. Apparently, when about 4, I bit a little girl while we were outside playing. Look, folks, you can’t fight nature.
I don’t really know why I get the urge. But it does mean that I’m sitting around waiting for a woman to see Lady GaGa’s song Teeth to me. Sometimes, you just want to take a bite of some bad girl meat.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
January 21st, 2010 at 1:18 am
I’m a biter too. Surprising how many people don’t like it.
January 21st, 2010 at 1:41 am
I admit I’m a biter as well, and lucky for both of us the guy I’m currently biting digs it.
I can’t help it, I love to find that spot that make them suck in that sharp little intake of breath when you nibble on it… not too hard… just the right amount of pressure followed by a nice, long, slow lick…
Okay now I need a cold shower…
January 21st, 2010 at 1:42 am
Oh and the beast is looking mighty adorable in that photo. I want to scoop him up and take him to bed with me, and I don’t even allow my own dogs in my bed!
January 21st, 2010 at 4:20 am
Mmmmmmm…..bad girl meat.
January 21st, 2010 at 6:30 am
I gotta admit, I love me a biter…as long as it’s in the right location.
heh.
January 21st, 2010 at 9:05 am
Yes biting flesh is a great feeling. Its like restless leg syndrome of the mouth or something. I am probably the only person who understands this theory.
In 3rd or 4th grade I bit one of my friends on the ass (through his shorts) when he was climbing a ladder in front of me (one of those ladders that goes up the back of those old school vans). His butt was just there and I chomped. I couldn’t help it. I understand this probably isn’t same biting you are talking about. Thats ok though.
January 22nd, 2010 at 1:05 am
Aww, Little Filthy is back !
My latest bad habit if I’m feeling especially anxious is to bite the skin on my hand near my thumb and index finger.
I don’t bite hard enough to leave marks, but just enough to feel it.
I guess this is what happens when I try to give up sugar.
January 22nd, 2010 at 11:30 am
I need a wife at home. Someone to have dinner waiting for me when I get home. Have the laundry folded and put away.
I need me!
January 22nd, 2010 at 8:47 pm
Seriously man how many wives do you need? Do they have sister hair and secretly hate each other? Also love the LF picture what did you tell him he couldn’t do.
January 24th, 2010 at 9:07 am
Had I coffee right now, I’d of choked when reading, “Because let’s face it. No one’s seen that thing since 1987.” Though, I hear it’s returned home.
So looking forward to your Q & A collaboration.
January 25th, 2010 at 9:12 am
UH I would just like to point out that in 1987 my hymen was in fact in tact.
It was at LEAST 1990 when it was last seen. AHEM. Let’s get it straight.
And now, well now I’m reborn. With Hymen.