Random Esquire

1. Yesterday, I went to QTMama‘s blog and nearly choked on my coffee when I read the title entry: “My Hymen and Random Esquire.”

It isn’t every day you see something like that.  And by ‘something like that’, I mean QT’s hymen.  Because let’s face it.  No one’s seen that thing since 1987.

2. I received an e-mail today from a co-worker who does a great deal of work on contracts for me.  She’s very detail oriented and seldom misses anything.  I, however, have been underwater working on deals and so she had some outstanding items with me about which she needed my legal opinion.  Her e-mail politely laid out those items, generally, as such:

a.  You have this, review that, get back to me on this.
b.  See the attached e-mail. Review language, provide your review and approval.
c.  Open the document attached, check x and y, please approve.

And at the end of the e-mail was this line:

“Dinner will be ready at 7:30 p.m. and don’t forget to leave your dry cleaning on my table tomorrow morning.”

So.  I guess I’ve got a work wife to go along with my work girlfriend.

3. Oh, hey, CERN – Get a move on with that teletransport device.  Awesome, thanks.

4.

What you talkin’ about, Attorney?

5. It has come to my unfortunate attention that I… am a biter.  See, I think that more people would be biters if they realized how good it feels on your teeth.

There were signs.  Apparently, when about 4, I bit a little girl while we were outside playing.  Look, folks, you can’t fight nature.

I don’t really know why I get the urge.  But it does mean that I’m sitting around waiting for a woman to see Lady GaGa’s song Teeth to me.  Sometimes, you just want to take a bite of some bad girl meat.