On the Topic of Breasts, In My Humble Opinion.
I’ve had this conversation a few times with women – about breasts and what makes for nice breasts. I can only tell you my own observations and opinions on this topic and naturally, I am a little tongue in cheek about it. But…as far as I can tell, there are three overall things that might define nice breasts – in order – from least important to most important.
Size
Size matters. But probably not as much as I once thought that it did. Size makes a difference. But probably not as much as other things.
It may seem like the attraction to breasts is purely based upon size but that’s probably a gross oversimplification. It’s just that breast size is the most obvious thing about them. Large breasts usually have some movement to them and, like a dinosaur, it’s the movement that captures the the eye. But really? I don’t have a walnut sized dinosaur brain and I can see things that aren’t swaying with every step.
At one point in my life, I thought that C-cups were sort of perfect. Not too big, not too small. Perfect! Then I met and fell in love with a woman with DD breasts. And I’ll be damned if they weren’t perfect. Then along into my life came a series of women with B-cups. And my god, those were perfect, too. Saying that you love breasts but only large breasts is like saying you love women but only love blondes.
I sometimes refer to breasts as … a snack tray. Yes, I realize that makes me sound a little bit like an asshole. But it isn’t entirely off base. They are like a snack. Like an appetizer. An amuse bouche, if you will. Something to whet the appetite. Something that makes you hungry for more.
Which leads us to …
Sensitivity
This is where it’s at. The more sensitive the breasts, the more likely the woman is going to let me play with them. I don’t care what size the breasts are if all I get to do is sit there and stare at them. What’s the point of that? That’s not getting me anywhere. That’s like owning a Lamborghini you’re not allowed to drive. Or that never warms up and goes above 10 miles per hour. I don’t get it.
But a woman with sensitive breasts… talk about all the difference in the world. Now we’re talking about a pimped out Honda huggin’ the rails at 145 mph.
Wow. I make really horribly insensitive analogies.
But you get my point, yes? That sensitivity is a much more important factor than size.
Most of all, however, is the Woman.
The Woman
There is the least to say about this. Not because it is the least important or relevant. It’s just that this is the simplest of them to understand.
If you love her, you love all of her. And when you look at her, you see all of her. The history of her life, her strengths and vulnerabilities, the things that have brought her joy, the things that pain her, the passion of her interests, the affection she shows others, the way she moves like smoke and the way she looks at you.
And then the thought that any part of her physical being could be separate or apart or anything less than her… so intimately her, is inconceivable.
And it isn’t that any of this makes her breasts perfect.
It’s just that all of her
is so, so perfectly her.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
January 19th, 2010 at 1:37 am
You made me say “Awww”
January 19th, 2010 at 1:46 am
This is why I stop by on a regular basis Random. You so very perfectly and in such a unique way share little bits of what makes you an individual.
In a way this is quite lovely. As a woman who wasn’t appreciated for nearly 15 years, and is now starting over, learning how to appreciate herself so that, hopefully, some day someone will come along and do the same…well I like this post very much.
You are a diamond in the rough Random.
January 19th, 2010 at 4:55 am
Nice.
As a woman who feels loved for absolutely all of me, I can really, really appreciate this.
Thank you.
January 19th, 2010 at 8:29 am
*Snort*
January 19th, 2010 at 10:39 am
“If you love her, you love all of her. And when you look at her, you see all of her. The history of her life, her strengths and vulnerabilities, the things that have brought her joy, the things that pain her, the passion of her interests, the affection she shows others, the way she moves like smoke and the way she looks at you.”
*Swoon*
Now WHY can’t I find a man who thinks like that – who KNOWS that?!
*sigh*
January 19th, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Ah RE, you SO didn’t disappoint me.
Just lovely…
January 19th, 2010 at 12:44 pm
How on earth did you just get awwws and swoons over this?
I am going to second QT’s *snort*.
Me do loves you though.
January 19th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
[...] 2010 January 19 tags: breasts by BiblioMom Over coffee this morning I read RandomEsquire’s post on the topic of breasts which in a weird way inspired this unrelated yet related [...]
January 19th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
hah! this is perfect. i have, um, extra sensitive boobages, shall we say? and i was starting to kind of weird myself out about it, like maybe guys think *i* have some weird fetish that makes me so excited about boobplay? but this is good news!
January 19th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Danielle, I’d say that this is definitely “swoon-worthy”:
“If you love her, you love all of her. And when you look at her, you see all of her. The history of her life, her strengths and vulnerabilities, the things that have brought her joy, the things that pain her, the passion of her interests, the affection she shows others, the way she moves like smoke and the way she looks at you.”
January 19th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
I feel like you added the last paragraph just to get women to swoon and let you feast upon their snack tray’s you poor sensitive soul. pffffttt…just sayin….tee hee.
I echo QT’s snort as well!!!!!!
and it is true about the movement…hubby says it’s not the size it’s the way they move that brings him to his knees…
January 19th, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Yes, that part is. But I got hung up on the snack trays and the pimped out honda huggin the rails at 45 mph. That is more RE in my mind!
January 19th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
For the record, RE had full access to my…*ahem*…”snack tray” even before that last paragraph.
heh.
January 19th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
lolz!!! I hear ya ladies…the first 2 paragraphs would have had me too tee hee
January 19th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
I’m just… wow.
I heart the sensitive RE. That’s the RE that first got my attention.
The rest? That beautiful and sometimes crass sense of humor? Just a little added bite to the sugar.
Like a delicious Thai dish of spicy sweetness.
I love it.
January 19th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
My-o-my, I think Miss Penelope is now going to carry your photo in her pocket.
January 20th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
I think I threw up in my mouth a little and it wasn’t morning sickness. Also the post was awesome.
January 20th, 2010 at 11:27 pm
@Susan – Now, that is something special from you. Because you prefer me as a rascal. heh.
@Tiffany – You are always so kind, Tiffany. Thank you.
@MommaSunshine – I’m really, really glad that you’ve found someone who can appreciate all of you. It’s always very fun and uplifting to see you and CBG interact.
January 20th, 2010 at 11:28 pm
@QTMama and Danielle and Andrea –
Spankings. All of you.
January 20th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
@Mindy – Now, if anyone was going to make sure her man knew all of that… I bet it’d be you. I need to make it out there to Denver.
@Linda – *phew* The pressure was gettin’ to me.
@Alice – Oh, rest assured. I don’t think you’ll hear complaints.
@T – You made me grin. You’re going to ruin my reputation, you know that?
@Debra – Please to let Penelope know about my great love of all things Penelope. Penelope Penelope Penelope Spaniards Spaniards Spaniards A particular Spaniard, particular Spaniard, particular Spaniard. Etc. Etc. *deep breath* okay done.
@Bobbi – *laugh* Thank you.
January 21st, 2010 at 6:31 am
HEY! Where’s *my* spanking???????
January 21st, 2010 at 8:27 pm
OK, I’ll join in with the “awws” and such. You really are a sensitive soul, RE. I have to be sure you’re clear on something, though: A woman can’t control either of the first two. [I speaks of what I knows.] We all know the first can be surgically enhanced, but eww, too much risk. The second…well, it can change, I’m so very thrilled to say. And…for all the young lasses out there who were not blessed with a large…um…snack tray…take comfort in knowing that they won’t sag when you hit 50. I’m just sayin’…