You Drive Me Craze, What a Pistol, and Lady Date Penelope.
1. Remember how I got my parents new phones and an unlimited text plan? My father has been trying to teach my mother how to send text messages. By “trying to teach”, I mean “forcing her to learn”.
Today, he forwarded a message to me and said, “This is mom’s first text message to me.”
It said: “You drive me craze.”
English is her second language. I sort of think it’s the best text message ever.
2. A friend of mine recently lost her father. This is the same close friend whose cousins drove their father’s ashes around in a Nieman-Marcus bag in the trunk of their car. Needless to say, the family has a wild side and a very good sense of humor. Her father was also quite the character.
I had flowers sent for his service and was understandably upset when a friend told me that they had not arrived. I called the florist, left a message and a half hour later, got a call back. The flowers had been delivered to the wrong funeral.
See, the thing is - I had them write a message on the card. And this means… that someone else’s funeral had flowers at them with a card that said:
“WHAT A PISTOL.”
All I could think was that I hope it wasn’t a gunshot victim.
3. My dinner last night – fondly nicknamed my Lady Date by Dysfunction Junction – was awesome. The restaurant is always so gracious and awesome. Kitchen / Back of House tour ended the evening. Evening started, however, with a gift which shall heretofore be known as LADY DATE PENELOPE.
It’s a heart picture frame in which they’d placed a picture of Penelope Cruz. I shall be taking her to different locations and taking picture of her like she’s the Travelocity Garden Gnome.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
January 12th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Oh, No. 2 is too damn funny!
January 12th, 2010 at 7:28 pm
Hey speaking of things arriving safely, did you get your birthday pressie from us? It’s late (as usual) but I didn’t get delivery confirmation so I tend to freak out about these things
And I’m with Beth.. #2 is hilarious although #1 hits close to home for both my mother-in-law and my mom – both native English speakers who shouldn’t be allowed to text!
January 12th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
What a horrible mix up. My gosh, I hope you got a refund and yeah, I hope it wasn’t a gunshot victim at the other funeral.
January 12th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
I’ve always thought about taking an object around to different locations and taking pictures like a garden gnomes, so I’m looking forward to seeing Penelope in action.
January 12th, 2010 at 9:56 pm
If you haven’t seen Broken Embraces yet you need to. Penelope is fantastic, she will drive you craze.
January 13th, 2010 at 6:03 am
I think there are lots of places that Miss Penelope needs to be photographed.
At least get a photo with LF. heh.
January 13th, 2010 at 10:44 am
Lady Date Penelope reminds me of that project in elementary school… Flat Stanley. I can’t wait to see where this adventure leads!
January 13th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
#2 – i laffed my arse off with that one… too freakin’ funny! (i hope it wasn’t a gunshot victim too!)
#3 – Penelope is a much better looking travel companion than mine… he’s a vintage Traffic Controller Cop figurine. He’s been to Europe, Mexico & Asia (a group of us share him). I think Penelope will fit much nicer in baggage, too. Our guy’s a little bulky and quite possibly suspicious.
January 15th, 2010 at 9:46 pm
I think I have sent that text message to Casey numerous times, great to see your mom embracing texting for what it can be another way to nag.