The Most Disgusting Thing You’ll Read Today. Pic Included!
I used a mandolin this weekend to slice something. You know what I ended up slicing? The tip of my thumb. Not clean off or anything. Instead, I had a trashcan lid of flesh hanging off the end of my thumb. I put band-aids on it. And then I decided my thumb was lonely and I managed to slice open the tip of my middle finger. Worse than my thumb. Again, I left a hanging chad. Again, multiple band-aids. Then, at some point, after it had stopped bleeding, I decided to peek under the flap on my middle finger. That was a mistake. More band-aids.
I had to put clean sheets on my bed. So I took the sheets out of the dryer and made the bed. And my band-aid mysteriously disappeared during that process. Didn’t find it. More band-aids on finger. This time made sure they couldn’t come off.
The next day – today – I realized that the band-aids had been on my middle finger for more than 24 hours. Wet, dry, whatever. I decided to peel them off.
No bleeding. That’s good.
And then…
I noticed a smell.
I brought my finger up to my nose and took a hesitant sniff.
holy.
crap.
Well, now, look, here’s the thing. If you smell something bad, what’s the first thing you do? You have someone else smell it, right? Except, no one else was around.
Except Little Filthy.
Okay, now, lemme just explain what you’re about to see. I had been relaying the unsavory nature of my rotting finger on twitter. The result was many suggestions that I had gangrene. However, I can tell it’s just wet-fleshy-open-wound-band-aid smell. But none the less, I thought it would be funny to take a picture of the dog smelling my rotting finger.
No. I have no idea why these things occur to me. I can not explain it. I realize it is ridiculous.
So I grabbed my camera phone, pointed it at my finger and then called Little Filthy.
He jumped up on the couch, leaned in and I snapped the picture.
And then I yelled out loud.
See, I intended for him to *smell* it.
But this is what happened right when I snapped the shutter.
The cut? Yeah, it’s right where his tongue is.
Whoops.
Sorry, Little Filthy.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
January 4th, 2010 at 6:15 pm
Oh my. i winced while reading this post. There’s nothing like a little doggy saliva to heal a wound, right?
January 4th, 2010 at 6:24 pm
I sliced the tip of my thumb with a chefs knife like that about two months ago, then again two weeks later when the first cut was just about fully healed. Even worse, it was my iPhone thumb!
January 4th, 2010 at 6:26 pm
“it’s just wet-fleshy-open-wound-band-aid smell.”
JUST wet-fleshy-open-wound-band-aid smell???? *gag*
I am fighting the urge to nickname you “stinkfinger.”
January 4th, 2010 at 6:45 pm
Dude. You don’t know where that tongue’s been.
Actually, I’m sure you do…which makes the photo even worse.
EW!
January 4th, 2010 at 7:03 pm
OUCH…dang!
Hope your fingers get better quickly and I hope I can get rid of this scrunched up face. (Boy, that was hard to read)
Oh, one more thing. ..You had LF smell it. To see if he thought it was bad? The same dog that smells and eats his own treats?
January 4th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Gag.
January 4th, 2010 at 7:49 pm
hmmm…stinkfinger….I like it…
January 4th, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Eek! I don’t know who to feel sorry for. You or the dog!
January 4th, 2010 at 8:27 pm
Ahem…You know what would have kept you from having stink finger? Proper stitches. You can even do it yourself with dental floss. Please don’t let LF eat the “trash can lid” off your thumb.
-gag-
January 4th, 2010 at 9:48 pm
you know, i was actually doing ok until susan suggested you not let LF *eat the skin lid* omgpuke. wow.
January 5th, 2010 at 1:14 am
Mwahahahahahaha! Oh, I’m sorry, RE! I know it’s gross and nasty and probably hurt. But…it’s also just kinda damn funny. “Hanging chad”. Nice.
January 5th, 2010 at 1:17 am
Gosh you guys are disgusting ! Will you marry me ?
Love,
Sandra
January 5th, 2010 at 8:08 am
LOL… dogs always lick wounds. Sometimes it feels good though. Not to sound nasty. I got a gaping slash on the back of my leg when I was little and I remember my cousins dog sneaking up behind me and licking it, and it feeling really relieving.
I just got my grandparents one of those mandolin slicer thingies for Christmas! I had no idea they were so dangerous. My grandma told me one of her old coworkers sliced her finger pretty bad too and I was like, oh geez. Then I read this post! I foresee bad things.
January 5th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
I said it on Twitter and I’ll say it again here. You mocked me mercilessly over smelling foot stench. I now feel vindicated.
Don’t smell anyone’s stinky feet, ok?
January 5th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Perhaps you should have put a tissue out on the table and then LF would have brought it to you instead of licking your finger.
January 5th, 2010 at 1:32 pm
Mandolins should be used only by professionals. I did the same thing with my thumb cooking corn beef & cabbage. We never found the “skin lid”. We decided to skip the sliced potatoes that night… Poor LF. I hope he doesn’t get sick…heh….
January 6th, 2010 at 8:47 am
Dude.
I’m so grossed out by you right now. Seriously.
You weren’t even TRYING this time, and you’ve grossed me out.
January 7th, 2010 at 10:13 pm
hey you….how are the stinkfingers?
Are you healing ok? Do you need us to send you booze or bandaids?