Multi-Racial Prostitutes, Pope What’s-His-Nuts, and Parasites.
1. You may recall that The Ballerina sometimes says things that one might not expect. Like “You’ve got to own that shit. Like a lazy eye.” Or there was the time I invited her to dinner and her response was, “I’m only going to come if it has a fall theme.”
The other day, I was bogged down at work and a little stressed. I received this IM from The Ballerina:
“can i bring you something to cheer you up? scones? a multi-racial prostitute?”
*Blink*
And no, there’s no inside joke here. She just says things like that.
2. Lately, I have noticed a lot of ads on television for some organization called: Catholics Come Home. In the ad, there are images of famous Italian pieces of art in the Vatican, charity work being performed, Pope John Paul with folks, the current Pope, Pope What’s-his-name,…all while a voice over tells you to come back to the Church. And I found myself wondering why they don’t show a clip of Pope-What’s-His-Nuts getting tackled because, I can tell you, if I knew that shit was going down at church, I might be more likely to attend.
3. I had a dream last night in which I was seated with my foot pulled up near me. There was a cut in my foot and I was pulling 5 foot long parasitic worms out of it. I kid you not. I was frantically pulling them out and as I did so, I could feel them sliding through my leg and foot, all wet and warm.
I woke up and found that Little Filthy was licking my foot.
He’s sleeping in his own bed tonight.
Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
December 30th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
I’m a lapsed catholic…very very lapsed. The last time I went to confession it took me an hour. I think it was a sign I’m not REALLY supposed to be there. Now if I could tackle a nun? I might show up for that.
As for multi racial hookers, to be fair any “lady of the evening”… perhaps that’s where you picked up that parasite? Just think about it…
December 30th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
But just so we’re clear, if it were a human licking your foot in your sleep, you’d be okay with that, right?
December 30th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
What if it were a multi-racial prostitute licking your foot?
December 30th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Or…. pope what’s his name?
December 30th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
“I’m only going to come if it has a fall theme.”
Heh…
What? I find that funny. It’s got #thatswhatshesaid written all over it!
December 30th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
augh. i want a winter-themed dinner with random esq and the ballerina. i miss ballerina demanding ingredients from you to cook a peach pie.
December 31st, 2009 at 10:09 am
Aw. I’ve missed you so RE.
December 31st, 2009 at 12:37 pm
What are you on?
And where can I get some?
December 31st, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Those worms are real! It’s one of my sick, geek-girl-dreams to pull one of those out of someone…so y’know, if you actually get one someday, call me.
January 2nd, 2010 at 6:37 am
I know I’m going to hell, but I really don’t like Pope what’s-his-name, and was a little disappointed that they didn’t get a clip of him going down – I definitely would go back to church if they promised action like that. Happy New Year!
January 4th, 2010 at 11:15 am
Hey Random I was eating at a steak place near my house last week… and there was a college football game on at the bar. My booth backed up to the bar booths. Well some drunk starts asking this one couple who their team is or something like that. And the guy is like, Notre Dame. Well then the drunk gets on this whole history of Notre Dame, how they are a French, not Irish school, how they suck, all sorts of stats about this that and the other. And he’s all “what now? this was my major in college, yeah don’t try to tell me” and the couple is all, ummm ok WEIRDO. And I’m all “what a waste of student loan, learning useless sports facts and figures”
And I just thought about you because of the Notre Dame thing. Just figured I would tell you.
)