Am I Adopted? Seriously?!
Today I discovered that I might be adopted. Or may have been born in the back of a taxi cab. Or to two drunkards.
The jury is out.
Here’s how it came about. I was filling out this W-2 thing to have it sent to me electronically instead of via mail. In order to confirm my identity, I was asked the city of my birth.
I dunno.
I know that seems ridiculous but really? I don’t know. How many times have I had to cough up that information? Nearly none. So I don’t remember. It’s a waste of my brain space. So I called my parents and they answered on speaker phone. I said, “Hey, I gotta fill out this thing…where was I born? like, what city?”
And I’ll be goddamned.
They *paused*.
Then my mother said, “Why do you want to know?”
And see, that? Right there? That right there?
THAT’S NOT FUNNY.
I said, “What do you mean WHY? Dude, if this is how I find out that I was adopted, I want that washer and dryer back.”
Oh, did I mention they got them? They did. They were delivered on Saturday and they kindly sent me a picture.
Okay, back to the business at hand.
Well, they started laughing and told me where I was born. They seemed pretty pleased with themselves. I’m sure that they were only disappointed that I wasn’t in front of them to witness their sideways glances.
WTF.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
December 20th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Dude, two things…1) the acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree… and B) That is the washer and dryer set I want!
December 21st, 2009 at 12:03 am
Even I know what city I was born in.
December 21st, 2009 at 1:20 am
“that’s not funny”
Sorry, but that is soooooo funny!
AND, great gift! Lucky mom and dad.
December 21st, 2009 at 1:43 am
LOL! That’s funny. Probably more so now than at first for you, however.
BTW, enjoyed “chatting” with you recently. Really.
December 21st, 2009 at 9:03 am
That is SO funny! I guess you get your sense of humor from your parents.
Nice W/D! What a good child you are.
December 21st, 2009 at 11:25 am
That was funny! Now we know where you got your sense of humor from.
That w/d rock!!
December 21st, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Yep, I second all the comments here. I think your parents ought to start their own blog about how they torture you.
Heh.
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:20 am
What city were you born in?
How do you not know that? Do you have a birth cert?
LOL
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:40 am
It’s true. You are adopted. I am your real mother. I know its shocking and confusing since we are only a few years apart and look nothing like each other yet – its true.
Please have the washer/dryer delivered to me ASAP. Give me that blender from last year too. Thank you my child.
Love,
Instigator
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:38 am
Hahaha. I WAS adopted and I know the city I was born in!!
I’d actually be more shocked and disappointed if my parents turned around one day and said, “Actually, we’re your biological parents”.
Now that would be freaky.
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:42 am
Your parents are hysterical! LOL.
Nice taste in appliances by the way.
December 26th, 2009 at 2:35 am
I have no witty comments, I’m just letting you know I’m laughing at you… out loud… with gusto…
Whew, that’s a good one!
January 7th, 2010 at 7:03 pm
That is a great thing to say to a grown man who can’t remember the city he was born in.