Warning: 5’10 inches of sarcastic, yet open minded woman with 4 kid,s a fetish for outlandishly expensive panties, and a psycho ex in jail for trying to kill her. Still reading? Apply in person, bring vodka and chocolate if you want any chance at seeing the above mentioned panties.

“If you don’t think South Park is funny or don’t like planning dinner while you’re eating breakfast: need not apply. ”

Is that even a disclaimer? What is proper disclaimer format? Omg. Idon’tevenknow.

Well, Mario Lopez is on Extra TV and I love listening to his voice overs. Better go.

I don’t know, I’m easily amused and if a random stranger referred to my breasts as that I’d wonder if they were legally blind and I’d find that funny. Naturally blessed in that area I am not.

I like what people are writing. I thought the dating disclaimer was such a fun idea I discussed it with a couple guy friends, they suggested I should have written the following instead.

“Warning: Does not suffer fools gladly”

and

“Warning: Keep your hands to yourself. Touching requires ownership or at least a long term lease.”

Sigh.

Um…yeah. More and more, it would seem. Thankfully, I’ve got a man who puts up with it better than he prolly should….

http://neverbeenlivedbefore.blogspot.com/2009/11/girlfriend-deal-breakers.html

Hi, I am Juliet and I just found your blog. Thanks for the read!

@Genevra – What an interesting name. I dig it. Thank you for the nice words. Ohh, yes, well, it’s much more amusing to hear someone refer to breasts as a snacktray when 1) they aren’t referring to your breasts and 2) they aren’t advancing upon you with open hands and greedy eyes.

@Sandra – OKay, that made me laugh. Because it is a completely logical answer. “Hell no, I’m not telling you what’s wrong with me. Do your own homework.”

@Susan – Intensity definitely has its pluses and minuses. Makes your other half hug the rails, that’s for sure.

@MindyMom – That’s a good warning! Some people should come with the opposite, “If you can’t handle a few lies, move on.”

-R.

I love how everyone is in agreement that you are breast-obsessed!

As for me?

Warning: If you can’t handle the truth, move on.

OR:

Warning: Strong stamina required.