What’s Your Dating Disclaimer?
Remember the other day when I asked what your Dating Style is? What one characteristic about you attracted people the most? I’m not sure I’m in love with QT’s answer for what was my most attractive characteristic because it makes me sound like …well, …like an attorney. Of all the nerve.
Well, the other day, I may have said that women should come with disclaimers or warning labels. This became a bit of a twitter discussion and it was decided that everyone should come with a Dating Disclaimer.
Beth suggested that mine would say, “I’m fun. But exceedingly selective.”
I’m not sure that the women I have dated would agree with this. So, I decided I’d give it a go and write down what I think the last few women I’ve dated (and written about here) would say should be my Dating Disclaimer:
Besos: “Breast maniac. Busy with side hobbies and activities to the point that you may feel unimportant.”
Plush: “Breast obsessed.”
Boss: “Surprisingly may not buy you the 3 carat ring you picked out. Also, breast crazy.”
Honestly? if I had to come up with a genuine disclaimer about myself and dating…it think it might say:
Warning: Too Literal.
What can I say? It’s a problem.
So, fess up, folks. What’s your Dating Disclaimer?
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
December 19th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Mine would probably be “Will stare at you while you sleep in an entirely creepy way, but will wake you up in fun ways once breakfast is ready. Probably a keeper.”
December 19th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Hmm, that is a very interesting question. No doubt my disclaimer isn’t something I would consider it to be. So I’ll go with something like,
Warning: Easily amused, but not easily impressed or swayed once my mind is made up.
By the way, I enjoy your blog and writing. The various ways of saying breast crazy crack me up. Snack tray has got to be my favorite one so far.
December 20th, 2009 at 12:32 am
I don’t give out disclaimers. That would be way too easy. The guy gets to find my flaws on his own.
December 20th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Mine would say: Warning: Overly Intense with Too Many Feelings.
Or possibly, Warning: Total Crazy.
December 20th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Hmmm, good question.
I love how everyone is in agreement that you are breast-obsessed!
As for me?
Warning: If you can’t handle the truth, move on.
OR:
Warning: Strong stamina required.
December 20th, 2009 at 10:25 am
@Chivahn – Ha! Awww, you little creeper.
@Genevra – What an interesting name. I dig it. Thank you for the nice words. Ohh, yes, well, it’s much more amusing to hear someone refer to breasts as a snacktray when 1) they aren’t referring to your breasts and 2) they aren’t advancing upon you with open hands and greedy eyes.
@Sandra – OKay, that made me laugh. Because it is a completely logical answer. “Hell no, I’m not telling you what’s wrong with me. Do your own homework.”
@Susan – Intensity definitely has its pluses and minuses. Makes your other half hug the rails, that’s for sure.
@MindyMom – That’s a good warning! Some people should come with the opposite, “If you can’t handle a few lies, move on.”
-R.
December 20th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
My dating disclaimer (I call it the Girlfriends Dealbreakers) can actually be found here. What timing!
http://neverbeenlivedbefore.blogspot.com/2009/11/girlfriend-deal-breakers.html
Hi, I am Juliet and I just found your blog. Thanks for the read!
December 21st, 2009 at 4:50 am
My disclaimer: “Comes with baggage”.
Um…yeah. More and more, it would seem. Thankfully, I’ve got a man who puts up with it better than he prolly should….
December 21st, 2009 at 11:38 am
“If you cross me, in ANY way, I will CUT you. Now, go fetch me a drink already.”
December 21st, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Thanks. I hated my name as a kid, but I love it as an adult.
I don’t know, I’m easily amused and if a random stranger referred to my breasts as that I’d wonder if they were legally blind and I’d find that funny. Naturally blessed in that area I am not.
I like what people are writing. I thought the dating disclaimer was such a fun idea I discussed it with a couple guy friends, they suggested I should have written the following instead.
“Warning: Does not suffer fools gladly”
and
“Warning: Keep your hands to yourself. Touching requires ownership or at least a long term lease.”
Sigh.
December 21st, 2009 at 4:55 pm
I was going to say “got baggage and need wine”, but Sunshine took half of it!
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:01 pm
my disclaimer:
“If you don’t think South Park is funny or don’t like planning dinner while you’re eating breakfast: need not apply. ”
Is that even a disclaimer? What is proper disclaimer format? Omg. Idon’tevenknow.
Well, Mario Lopez is on Extra TV and I love listening to his voice overs. Better go.
December 26th, 2009 at 2:21 am
I think I would just put all my issues out there and weed out the DB’s who can’t deal…
Warning: 5’10 inches of sarcastic, yet open minded woman with 4 kid,s a fetish for outlandishly expensive panties, and a psycho ex in jail for trying to kill her. Still reading? Apply in person, bring vodka and chocolate if you want any chance at seeing the above mentioned panties.
December 27th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
@sitcom – the breakfast planning of dinner is parfait.