Take That Out of Your Mouth and a Little Cubby…for Your Panties.
1. I saw a pregnant woman wearing a bluetooth device today. It made me think of Groucho Marx.
Hear me out.
There’s a long rumored (and widely suspected untrue) story that during a taping of You Bet Your Life, Groucho Marx interviewed a pregnant woman who already had something like 17 children. He asked her, more or less, why she had so many children. She said something along the lines of, “I love my children who are my purpose here on Earth…and I love my husband.”
To which Groucho replied, “Lady, I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.”
That’s a paraphrase of this rumor. But you get my point. When I looked at this woman I thought, “I know you love that thing but take it out of your ear once in a while.”
2. The Ballerina IM’d me earlier today – a little excited to tell me about a dream she had. I was on a conference call so I watched as she told the story:
“OMG.”
“i just remembered”
“so i had this dream last night.”
“i was at some sort of . . . camp.”
“it was all girls.”
(*PAUSE* Are you smiling? So was I. *RESUME*)
“and i was new or something”
“so we all slept in one room like in bunks”
(*bastard smile*)
“and then i was shown to the other room where each girl had a little cubby to hang her PANTIES”
(*BLINK*)
“it was a room entirely dedicated to storing everyone’s panties, by camper.”
“so naturally i felt pressured to make sure my best panties were always on display.”
By this point, I was trying hard not to laugh during my call. I asked if I could re-tell this little ditty. The Ballerina said:
“you know naturally i assume all conversations with you are fodder for the internet.”
Busted. But look, if you’re going to have dreams about a campsite full of girls who leave their panties in another room, well, yes, you can very well expect that I am going to blog about it in just the worst possible way.
It’s what I do.
I. . .
am a blogger.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
December 15th, 2009 at 6:54 am
I am glad you are a blogger. Your stories are very entertaining!
December 15th, 2009 at 7:11 am
That’s how you know you’re a blogger. Something happens and one of your first thoughts are how you’re going to write about this for THE BLOG.
Ayup.
December 15th, 2009 at 9:02 am
That you are! And a very good one at that.
But do tell us what YOUR dreams are like somtime! THAT would be very interesting, methinks.
December 15th, 2009 at 9:54 am
I think I’m too judgmental about people with Bluetooth earpieces. I have a couple that I never use. But when I did use them, it was only while driving. And now when I see people walking around with them my first reaction is “douche”. I’m going to hell.
Ballerina’s dream reminds me of… this one time… at cheerleading camp. No, for real. We went to some place in the mountains of PA, it was FREEZING in the middle of August. And it was in a cabin type dwelling… with bunks. I was a freshman in high school and I just remember all the seniors would steal the freshman’s clean underwear and deodorant and other sanitization necessities, and keep them the whole week. So I BEGGED one of my junior friends not to take mine. And she didn’t, it was like a dream. So I hid them from all the other freshman haha. And I got to wear clean undies every day. Random, true story. I’m sorry for always posting stories in your comments.
December 15th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Yes you are a blogger, and I’m so glad. Your stories make me smile!
MissMegs story made me laugh and reminded me of a similar high school cheerleading camp story. What is it with girls, panties, hiding and freezing bras….
December 15th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
See the thing is, if the panties were all in the storage cubbies on their little hooks…. what was on the girls’ bottoms?
I’m imagining RE with a shit eating grin right about now.
December 15th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
I am cracking up! She wanted to make sure her best panties were on display. WOW. See what us girls do to make an impression. Sheesh.
I love the Groucho Marx story. Seriously. And I hate Blue Tooth headsets.
December 15th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Okay – show of hands – am I the only chick who wears her best underwear when she goes for a pap test, even though the doctor never sees them?
December 16th, 2009 at 12:16 am
I highly doubt I should admit this, but what the hell, when have I ever shut up before?
I have a hanging cubby thing on my bedroom door, and guess what it holds, yes.. my panties. And since it’s in view of anyone allowed access to my bedroom only the sexiest and prettiest of sets are kept in there.
LMAO, I can take photos as proof!
Oh, and MommaSunshine, ya, I totally do that too! Although I have to admit my personal motto is “life is too short for cheap underwear” so I tend to only have very pretty, very girly lacy little unmentionables. LOL… so I guess I wear my “best” every day. I may be broke as all hell, but my panties are top notch. lol, I would rather eat Cup o’ Noodle than wear cheapo undies!