My Brain is Useless.
1. I heard Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer today. I just gotta ask, when is there ever a warm, moist air mass moving over the North Pole on Christmas Eve? Is fog really an issue at the North Pole? So I decided to figure it out. Turns out that because the air is so bitterly cold, it takes a really small amount of water in the air before it saturates, resulting in fog. But not of water droplets – of ice crystals. And this is not an infrequent thing. So I guess the song does sort of make sense.
2. And then I realized that I’d spent far too much time thinking about that. Because, really, is the fog part where the song loses credibility for me? Not the anthropomorphic reindeer? Or Santa or the LED nose animal? No. See, I quickly pinpoint the fog and question that.
Sometimes, my brain is useless.
3. You may have heard – I have a new service that I’m offering. But you’ll have to visit QT‘s blog Friday morning to hear more about it.
Speaking of, check out that little Meg Ryan.
4. I am the product of miscegenation. This means that rarely a week will go by when someone does not ask me about my ethnicity. However, I fully admit that it sometimes gets tiresome. I would probably not mind except that most people seem to think that this is an acceptable way to inquire about your ethnicity: “What are you?”
Sometimes, because I have decided to be playfully difficult, the conversation goes like this:
Person: “What are you?”
RE: “American.” Big smile.
Person: “No, I mean, like, where are you from?”
RE: “Oh! Sorry – I’m from Chicago.” Big smile.
Person: “Where were you born?”
RE: “Ohhh, Minnesota.” Winning smile.
Person: “But what language do you speak?”
RE: “…English.” Confused look.
Person: “I meant other than English.”
RE: “Oh! French.”
I don’t look French – even though I am 1/4 French. I do appreciate the curiosity but sometimes, I want to make something up. So I’ve decided to start saying, “I’m Caraway. Perhaps you’ve heard of our seeds.”
5. I realize that I have shifted this posture to Little Filthy. Once, while dining al fresco with the pooch under the table, a man walked by, did a double take at him and clearly wondered what breed he was. The beast is pug-chihuahua. The man said slowly, “What….is he?”
I said slowly, “He…is a dog…”
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
December 10th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Did you ever realize the Rudolph song has all of the reindeer basically being so mean to him until he gets promoted. Then, they totally kiss his hiney. The song is a metaphor… or something.
December 10th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
I’m happy to report that I like make that inquiry as, “What’s your lineage?”
Me, not that people often ask, as I’m very Midwest whitey whitebread: 1/2 Serbian, 3/8ths Polish, 1/8th German.
Yes, Serbian. We’re terribly nice people. Except for the ones who are genocidal bastards.
And wow, can we cook!
December 10th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Naturally thick black hair, and naturally very white skin… I get asked that same question a lot.
My grandmother is half Native American, my father was first generation Irish immigrant… hence black hair and uber white skin. Not very exciting but at least when I tell people they go, “oh…well that makes sense”
Then comes the inevitable jokes about my future as an alcoholic… ya, people think they’re clever. Upon occasion I’m in a snotty mood and I say, “I’m already struggling with a serious alcohol addiction thank you” and just give them a Random-esque “blank face” until they mumble some form of appology and leave as quickly as possible.
I can be kinda mean when the mood strikes me.
December 10th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
I have people insist that I am portuguese or italian and when I say that I’m not they keep asking if I am sure. I finally reply that I have no idea as my relatives didn’t discriminate who they slept with so that I very well could be…..it stops that line of questioning really fast and I laugh…and laugh…;) but I am very twisted tee hee
I am actually very English with some Scot thrown in. We have dark colouring though so we figure someone shagged a Roman
December 10th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Haha. People just don’t know when to mind their own business when it comes to a person’s ethnicity!
My friend just posted on facebook that she was talking to a rep for a finance company and the guy said, “Your middle name is Chinese. But you don’t sound Chinese at all! I can actually understand you!”
Her middle name is actually her Korean birth name and she was adopted (much like my situation).
Was it his beeswax? I don’t bloody think so!
I get asked why I look different from my parents. I just say it’s some freaky 10th generation genetic throwback. They always believe me…
*shakes head*
You’ve inspired me: Next time someone asks me “what” I am, I shall tell them I’m a labrador, poodle cross. Or something similar haha.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:55 am
I think it’s natural for to inquire where other people come from. I don’t take offense when people ask me.
I will been confused as Armenian, Portuguese, Persian, Spanish so I take it all as a compliment.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:31 am
-snort- “Perhaps you’ve heard of our seeds…” God.
No one ever asks me what I am…hmph.
December 11th, 2009 at 5:19 am
I’ve never heard Sarah Palin talk about fog. And SHE would know….
December 11th, 2009 at 7:18 am
People assume I’m Irish because of the red hair.
I think there’s some in there somewhere, but damned if I know. I come from a long line of peasants. Who knows what’s in there down the line….
December 11th, 2009 at 8:50 am
@Samantha – What are we teaching the children?! heh. I hope you’ve started CoD. I have about 10 pages left. I’m tempted to call you a communist.
@Beth – Aw, you don’t seem anything like a genocidal bastard to me.
@Tiffany – Isn’t it funny what people feel completely comfortable joking about? Oh, you’re Irish? Let’s joke about Alcoholism and Catholicism. And then about tempers.
December 11th, 2009 at 9:57 am
I’m no pinko commie!! lol
December 11th, 2009 at 10:51 am
@Andrea – *big grin* I HIGHLY recommend the shagging of a Roman.
@Kez – Good lord, “You don’t sound Chinese at all! I can actually understand you!” I mean, honestly. *laugh* What is with some people?
@Sandra – I should be clear – I don’t mind being asked at all. I admit it gets tiresome but what I find annoying about it is when people ask my with the poorly thought out, “What are you?” It’s a clumsy way of going about it – but I’m fairly good natured about the whole thing since I realize people are just curious.
December 11th, 2009 at 10:55 am
@Susan – really? Why not?
@Jules – I hadn’t thought of going immediately to an expert.
@MommaSunshine – Mixes are best!
December 11th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Now I’m singing Rudolph at my desk…
December 11th, 2009 at 11:54 am
4. I love you, RE. And I love your humor. I love a man who can make me laugh. And I’m looking for a man who can make me laugh.
5. I love LF too.
December 11th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
@linda – It’s a hazard. Mention the song and it just sticks.
@KissyFace – Ahh, you’re endlessly kind. Thank you. Little Filthy thanks you, as well.
December 11th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
pet peeve #434 – the “what are you” question. i want to throat punch every person that’s asks me that.
“i’m human, what are you?”
December 13th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Green eyes, black hair, amazingly pale skin and an accent. Everyone just assumes I’m Irish, which is true, but it would be nice to be asked…
I’m also 1/2 Spanish.
December 15th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
So people really ask you what you are? Weird, I can’t recall ever asking someone that. But since you brought it up it got me wondering. Have you ever posted a picture of yourself on your blog? I hope you don’t because I have it set in my mind that you look like Will off Will and Grace. Maybe it’s because you share the same occupation? It’s kind of like when you hear a radio personality and then you see them and they look nothing like what you thought they would.
December 15th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Hi, Simonne! How are you? Haven’t seen you around since you taught me about soap leaves.
People often ask me about my ethnic background, yeah. Every so often they do so in the way I described, “Hey…what are you?”
Nope, never posted a picture of myself. And you are not the first person to suggestion Will from Will and Grace. heh.
Glad to see you again.
-R.