What’s Your Dating Style?
Remember how I said that I was going to give up chasing women and just let someone seduce me? I’m failing miserably. What can I say? I like to chase.
Anyway, in a somewhat related conversation, I asked QT what adjective she’d use to describe her dating style. Not necessarily how you see yourself but what is it that tends to draw people to you. What over-arching characteristic about you tends to attract people? For example, I think that when people see QT, they think: “FUN.” That’s the word that first pops into my head. She’s usually laughing or, at the very least, has a smile on her face. That kind of energy attracts people to her.
I asked her what word she’s use for me.
She thought and said, “So, what is the ONE word that describes a…”
I listened closely and was pleased to hear her say “self aware, financially stable,…”
and then it went downhill.
“…boob loving, motorboating, does-not-put-up-with-women-emotions-but-dates-women kind of person?”
I’m sure I curled my lip a little.
I said, “EVOLVED? It is EVOLVED?”
And then she said this:
“Well, I don’t think anyone would look at you and say FUN.”
*Blink*
I had to laugh because I think the first thing most people learn about me is that I have an active sense of humor. I find pretty much everything around me amusing on some level. And, just to clarify – I actually tend to find emotional women very attractive. I just have limits. They are high – but they are there. *cough*
Anyway, we did not come up with a good one for me. We tentatively agreed on ‘politely aggressive’ but that makes me sound a little like an ape with some manners and doesn’t really answer the question, I don’t think. I like to think that I’m very respectful of women. Maybe that is my style? I don’t know what my style would be because, well, I think I’d have to ask the women I’ve dated.
As for styles I like? I suppose it depends and evolves as I do. Strong, confident women are attractive – especially if they are teasing me just a bit. I enjoy a good tease because I like to chase. No one wants to chase someone in a straight line until they catch them. That’s call catching up. I like to chase.
I think I just decided that I’m respectfully aggressive. I’m a socially conscious ape. Fabulous.
So how would you describe your dating style? What is it about you that you think attracts people to you? Is there a particular over-arching personality trait that you find irresistible in someone?
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
December 9th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
This is a fascinating notion. What a good question.
My dating style, apparently, is “non-existent.” That’s not good.
I like to think that people are drawn to my kindness/generosity, but I think that can backfire easily when it comes to men.
December 9th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Well, lets see.. You’ve referred to my boobs as a “snack tray” on more than one occasion. Evolved… hmm… not so much.
But you’re pretty damned cute!
I have no dating style.
December 9th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
@Beth – Oh, but you do, Beth. You’re intelligent and witty – two incredibly attractive characteristics. Without a doubt, I’d have to say that’s your style. Intelligent wit. I dig it.
@Bev – I think your style is obvious, too! You’re a caretaker with a dash of laid back mischievous. You’re a naughty soccer mom who packs her husband’s lunch, doesn’t get worked up over nothing and is a little bit of trouble. It’s so *obvious*.
December 9th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Aw. I like “intelligent wit.” Too bad the men I meet don’t seem to be in the market for it.
Thank you, though!
December 9th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
@Beth – It’s fantastic, Beth! Some men are just shopping in a market full of empty calories.
Oo, and you cook – also attractive. (Especially to someone like me who usually ends up doing most of the cooking.)
December 9th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Apes with manners are hawt !
My dating style is letting the man chase me, and I would rather be single for the rest of my life than pursue a guy regardless of what century we are in.
What draws men to me ? Not exactly sure, but I have gotten a variety of compliments before such as my smile or my eyes.
Once men get to know me, I’ve been told that I have a good heart.
December 9th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Me- hey hubby…if you had to pick a word to describe me in a dating style kind of way what would it be?
Hubby-WHAT?? WHY??
Me- ‘just pick a word..what would it be if you had to describe me..’
Hubby- ‘Aggressive..’
Me- W.H.A.T.?
(Hubby FAIL)
Hubby- ‘yep aggressive cause you took one look at me and you were alllll over this body like it was made of sugar..’
Me-’okay…seriously…one word…like gentle, kind, outgoing, fun, charismatic’
Hubby- ‘okay…totally fun AND charismatic’
Me- (totally knowing I fed him the answers I wanted and ok with it)..’awww thanks hun’
December 9th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
oh and RE..I would say Gentleman for you…which is totally hawt….
December 9th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
@Sandra – Glad there’s a place in the world for us apes!
@Andrea – Ahhh, your husband has GOOD SENSE. And thank you for the kind words. I do appreciate it.
December 9th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
I like hugely geeky guys. Like med-students, physicists and actuaries. I like guys who know a lot of stuff, so that I can talk to them about the stuff that I know about without them thinking I’m too much of a nerd.
As for my dating style or what draws people to me, I’m told pretty frequently that I have a great voice and that I’m funny. I also get “intense” a lot, but it’s usually a complaint.
December 9th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
LOL… well I’m newly single, and haven’t “dated” in over 15 years SOOOO…
I have no style, no game… no ulterior motives. Maybe that’s what attracts people to me.
Since I’ve been single I’ve been asked out a few times, and I would have to say that it’s a combination of honesty (what you see is what you get with me) and a rockin’ sense of humor. I love to tease and be teased in return. The men interested in me are the teasing variety.
My killer set of legs doesn’t hurt either (so I’ve been told) lol
December 9th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Dating Style? errrr….dating…what’s that?
I attract the unavailable men. Apparently, I’m *perfect* for them. Everything their woman isn’t and more. Ha.
*sigh*
I’m fun. I laugh constantly. I’m adventurous. I’m confident. I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m intelligent. I’m witty. I’m free-spirited. I’m a dork. I’m happy to be here….
I’m attracted to someone like me. Make me laugh. Have integrity. Be confident in their own skin. Open to my children. (I have a herd ya know) And if they can play guitar to boot… game over, man…I’m a *total* sucker for those boys!
*sigh*
December 9th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
@Susan – Ahhh, nice to get good and settled in with your brain cells! Smart people are awesome.
December 9th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
@Tiffany – I can’t tell you how big the grin was on my face when I saw your comment. I regret that I did not see your legs when I was last in your neck of the woods! Ahhh, I still remember our fantastic phone call. I’m really glad to see you. Made my night.
-R.
December 9th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
@Savored Life –
YOU.
Whenever I see YOU or DANIELLE …I think to myself, “Oh boy. Here comes trouble.”
I dig your attitude – that kind of happiness is attractive and infectious.
I’ve never really picked up the guitar. Piano player, myself. Which, in case you’re wondering, doesn’t pack up very easily if you want to impress a girl.
-R.
December 9th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Oh RE, you’re so wrong…just watch how Jermaine helps Bret woo his girl: (:54 is where the magic starts…)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY8jaGs7xJ0
Now, I find that size should be manageable…and seriously, what girl won’t be a puddle at your feet when you’ve finished playing?
Perhaps the greatest allure of the guitar is its portability.
December 9th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Okay, I’m laughing – where do you people find this stuff? I MUST GET A MINI PIANO. I can woo the womenz this way.
December 10th, 2009 at 5:12 am
motorboating….and respectfully aggressive….NICE COMBO!
December 10th, 2009 at 7:37 am
@Jules – heh. It’s a very ironic feeling motorboating.
December 10th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Yeah, definitely not evolved. Although I’m glad you enjoy my snack tray.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:33 am
RE- Passionate when it comes to something you believe in. TEASE! stable, smart, funny, irritating, articulate, piggish, comfortable in your skin, savy to the ways of the world…………………….
Danielle- TROUBLE! My smart assness attracts the asses!
I have zero game these days. I personally like the strong silent type, but also quick witted and FUN too. Does that work or make any sense?
Maybe Savored Life and I should come to see you!
December 10th, 2009 at 9:37 am
[...] one word I’d use to describe my Random Esquire? Well, you can read about the conversation here, in the blog of wonder that is RE. Go now, then come back here. I [...]
December 10th, 2009 at 9:43 am
@QTMama – I do enjoy a nice snacktray, yes.
@Danielle – Ahh, you flatter me. Thank you. And yes, your style is most definitely TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:49 am
You can read what QT has to say on this subject and her opinion of my style here.
December 10th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Disciplined? Yeah, I can see that. With a little bit of ornery thrown in. I like that things amuse you in a very dry-sense-of-humor way. I also think you’re very giving and romantic but you tend to hide this beneath some tough-as-nails exterior. I think a strong, confident, self-aware, sexy woman will have you on your knees in no time. And she’ll be one lucky girl.
And I would love to share some cookies from my snack tray.
December 10th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Dating style? I’ve been told that what attracts people to me is my smile and my eyes. People have also told me that I am sweet…too sweet in fact. wtf? I didn’t know there was such a thing. I think once people really get to know me they see that I have a sense of humor, and that I love to laugh, drink, and enjoy life.
The conversation between you and QT gave me a little light into you RE…just a little… and I must say… nice! There is something very sexy about a disciplined, motorboating, boob man who is intelligent with a wicked sense of humor.
December 10th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
RE, methinks Skirt-Chaser sums you up pretty well, although it is officially two words.
But seriously, how can anyone sum up all that is RE in only one word?
As for me? I am attracted to an ENERGY. Something that tells me the guy is genuine, fun, witty and versatile. A real MAN with an edge but also a softer side. The eyes, smile and the way he carries himself draw me in.
Aaaaand I think I jsut described myself a bit too.
December 10th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
My dating style is bewildering. I enjoy dating at first ~ then not so much.
I think most men notice and appreciate that I am independent until they realize that I really can *live* without them. Then they get clingy which is the exact opposite of what they should do.
What I really find irresistible in a man is a quiet confidence. Men that feel the need to constantly be proving just how charming and entertaining they are drives me crazy. I cringe when they accost every waitress and random stranger with ‘funny’ comments. For goodness sake shut up sometime!
PS. Thank you for my Christmas card. It is adorable!
December 10th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
RK – I couldn’t agree more on this:
“Then they get clingy which is the exact opposite of what they should do.” I can not deal at that point … it’s terrible!!
December 10th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Not sure what I’d call my dating style. I’m sure “ruthless flirt” fits in there somewhere, though.
Although, since being bagged by CBG, most of my flirting energy seems to be used up on him….