Boa Constripper, BJ vs. Pink Sweater, and Little Filthy Pavlov.
1. Today on the train, I overhead a man speaking. He said, “…it was a huge fuckin’ snake! Like, a boa constripper!”
That’s right.
A boa constripper.
Bow-AH Con-STRIP-pah.
2. Instigator and I went to lunch today and then for coffee afterward. While we were in line at Starbucks, she asked me for suggestions on what to get her husband for Christmas. I said, without hesitation, “A blow job. Give him a blow job.” She rolled her eyes and ignored me and said, “Really! What should I get him!” I said, “Coupons. For blow jobs.”
She stared at me. I said, “LOOK, get him what he really wants!”
And then I proceeded to poke my tongue against the inside of my cheek.
She said, “I am going to leave you standing right here – alone, talking to yourself.”
So I stopped.
Then she said, “I think I’m going to get him a pink sweater.”
*Blink*
And then I started again.
But then I stopped because I was waiting for my coffee from the barista and what’s the fun of doing that without a work girlfriend?
3. The first thing I do upon waking is to feed the dog his breakfast. He knows this. So now, when my alarm goes off, there is no hitting snooze. I’ve effectively proven Pavlov’s theory and my alarm clock is Little Filthy’s ringing bell. The alarm goes off and within seconds, Little Filthy has his nose in my hair, my neck, my face, everywhere.
*sigh*
It’s my own fault.
I’m a great cook.
Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
December 1st, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Sometimes…. you are *such* a dude!
Did you learn that tongue in the cheek thing from Chris?
(And Boa Constripper = Funniest thing I’ve read all day)
December 1st, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Maybe you were joking, but there is some truth to all that tongue inside of your cheek business.
That picture of LF made my day.
December 2nd, 2009 at 12:14 am
Wow to the train story and That sucks about LF.
December 2nd, 2009 at 6:32 am
1. There’s a lady I work with and her cube used to be right next to mine. I hated hearing her talk because she was always confusing words and inventing her own. At first it was funny. But after hearing “dupposed” instead of “supposed” like, 9845 times, it was annoying. Now if she was saying things like, bowaconstippa, it may have been more acceptable.
2. I saw a pack of “Love Coupons” at the check out line recently. I opened them up giggling expecting to find something raunchy. Instead, the first page a flip to says, “Good for one romantic walk”. LAME. Where has the creativity gone!?
3. If I was your neighbor I would make you a coupon book with stuff like, “good for one Little Filthy bath time” & “good for two Little Filthy belly rubs”. He is so darn cute and fuzzy and irresistible in that picture!
December 2nd, 2009 at 7:57 am
A … pink … sweater?
I’m glad you made the mouth movements now.
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:33 am
1. Your train stories crack me up.
2. If I had been standing near you when you had this conversation I wouldn’t have been able to contain my laughter.
3. Looks like LF can’t wait to dig into his scrumptious meal. I just want to pick him up and snuggle with him.
December 2nd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Boa Constrippers and coupons for sexual acts? You are dirty. Rather, filthy. (like your canine progeny.)
Thanks for the laugh.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
damn…funny funny stuff R.E.