Stupid Stuff I Say and Fresh Express Jumps to Conclusions.
1. Sometimes I say something and then have no idea why it came out of my mouth. I was getting a birthday card for my sister and I decided to get a Thanksgiving Day card for my niece and nephew. Then I saw these turkey stickers and got those to stick in the envelope. The sticker package was too long so I had to cut off the top to get them into the envelope.
Except, I don’t have scissors. Ahhh, but the nice young woman in the corner cubicle by Fresh Express has scissors!
So I knocked lightly on her wall and peeked over. She looked up and smiled. I said, “Hi, [perfectly nice co-worker]. May I borrow your scissors?”
She said, “Sure!” and picked them up out of a pen cup on her desk to hand them to me and as she did so, I suddenly said one of those stupid things that I think will be funny but oftentimes is not.
I said, “… to cut my toenails.”
She looked up at me looking at her.
And then I grinned broadly.
I made myself grin so she’d know I was kidding. The thing is, I have a really dry sense of humor and I’ve been told before that people don’t know when I’m joking or when to take me seriously. But have you ever seen someone grin on purpose? They just look stupid.
The good news? She laughed. The even better news? She said, “You can keep them when you’re done.”
Random FTW!
2. I’m going to spare you all this story in detail but suffice to say that Fresh Express misunderstood a situation today and briefly believed that I’d had a baby with a co-worker. A married co-worker. I admit… the baby may have looked a little like me. (Basically, Fresh Express rounded a corner and saw me standing next to my co-worker and the baby and she did this slow look from me… to my co-worker…then to the baby…then back to me…. In an instant, we all knew what she was thinking) *sigh*
But that baby? Not mine.
This story delighted Instigator to no end who proceeded to tease me mercilessly.
3. All right, I’m off to head back downtown to see The Addams Family. Someone please play with the monster.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
November 18th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
I love a good dry sense of humor, but it can be hard to tell when you are joking and when you are serious, even through e-mailing you.
I say alot of things I think are funny, but end up with people looking at me with blank stares.
Say hi to the little monster for me !
November 18th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Personally I love a dry sense of humor. But yeah, sometimes, its difficult to pick up at first.
Doesn’t Fresh Express know that *your* child has fur? Sheesh. Some people.
Can’t wait to read the review!
November 19th, 2009 at 10:43 am
I, too love a dry sense of humor. But until you really know the person it can be difficult to figure out. But the grin..dead give away.
If I lived closer I would so play with monster.
Hope you had a good time at the play.
November 19th, 2009 at 10:54 am
I also have a dry sense of humor and I often surprise/confuse complete strangers with it. It’s a blast.
I want to see Fresh Express. I always thought it was fun to hear about her but now that I work with someone who I think might be her long lost twin I really need a visual. Maybe just an actress or character with similarities?
November 19th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
1. Did you remember to mail the cards & stickers?
2. I have been known to utter certain things aloud.
3. Generally followed by slapping my hand across my mouth, albeit too late.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I love a dry sense of humor. LOVE it. But there are many people who just dont get it. And then, somehow YOU feel stupid? Sheesh.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
The story about your baby delights me still. Oh wait – not your baby? Ok, not your baby. Still making me laugh out loud.
November 20th, 2009 at 8:04 am
Cutting your toenails at work is not acceptable?!
I learn something new everyday here Cookie.
November 21st, 2009 at 10:05 pm
You should totally let her keep thinking it’s your baby. -grin-
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:47 am
Did you want to pretend for a moment that the baby was yours? No? Not even for a minute or two? As always, thanks for the laugh and for the little window into a bright and unique mind.
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 pm
@Sandra – Monster says hi back to you.
@T – There is little I can confidently say that Fresh Express knows. Well, that she knows and that is true. She’s really something else.
@Linda – If you and Sandra lived nearby, the dog would be insanely pleased.
@MissMegs – Let’s see here…she’s about 5 feet tall, blondish hair that is about shoulder length, very thin, wears mom jeans and tank tops a lot (she does not wear a bra), as for someone that might look like her…hrm…That’s a hard one. I have to think on that.
@BLW – I did, indeed. Managed to still get them into the mail.
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:25 pm
@MindyMom – totally. I blogged about stupid names for cars and said something like, “How about Yukon? Who the hell names a car after a potato?” And someone commented calling me an idiot and saying that the car was probably named after the Yukon Territory. I just wanted to sigh.
@Instigator – My only regret is having told you that story via IM and thereby denying me the opportunity to see you laugh that hard.
@QT – You’re in luck – chewing your toenails is still okay so don’t stop what you’re doing.
@Susan – Troublemaker!
@Aidan Donnelley Rowley – Noooooo, I had no urge to pretend the baby was mine. This seemed like the kind of rumor that had to be immediately put to death. If I could have, I’d have bought a Christmas Wreath to hang around the stroller that said, “Not RE’s.”
November 25th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I love people who have dry senses of humor.