Marroption/Adoptiage, Eyes Wide STFU, Hints, Dog Bath and…Nerdlogne.
1. You know how I said that marriage was basically a higher form of adoption? I just want to make it clear that I think Woody Allen took that a bit far.
2. So… I was invited to a Halloween party by a young woman. Said party is an “Eyes Wide Shut” Halloween party. The servers? Costumed and masked models.
!!!
Said young woman is not Besos.
So I politely declined.
That doesn’t mean I won’t still dress up like this to terrorize Besos.
3. My mother called me this afternoon while I was in the office. She was also downtown. I said, “Would you like to go to lunch?” She said, “It’s too late for lunch… but I am doing volunteer work until 6.”
I know a hint when I hear one.
I said, “Oh! That’s perfect. How about we get dinner together?”
What do you know? She said yes.
4. Remember when I climbed on top of my kitchen counter to get picture of Little Filthy nabbing banana?
I think may try a series of pictures of him in the bathtub. Except I’m pretty sure that the angle I want may require me to be in the bathtub at the same time. Negotiations are ongoing.
5. I went to a conference this morning. It was mainly nerds. In fact, during one of the keynote speakers, I looked around and realized that there were about 10 women I could see in a room of over 1,000 men. And you know what? I swear every one of those nerds was wearing cologne. I wanted to clobber them all.
First, you don’t marinate in it. Second, you’re at a conference. Not a speed dating seminar. Third, there are 10 women here. Even if you mouth breathers had a fight to the death, those women would be long gone by the time you found your inhaler after Round 3.
Huh. Turns out I really am a little surly on Wednesdays.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
October 21st, 2009 at 9:43 pm
I think the bathtub shots would be funny, so basically you enjoy torturing LF.
Your conference idea of making them battle could be funny.
What weirdo’s to have an Eye’s Wide Shut Halloween party. I like Kubrick’s movies but that one was a glorified porn.
Love your mother called to basically be taken out to dinner.
October 21st, 2009 at 9:44 pm
4. Please don’t kill yourself or LF for a good photo opportunity. Isn’t the bathroom the most dangerous room in the house? Or is that the kitchen? You are asking for trouble here.
5. You are a big dork. Yet, it is part of your charm.
October 21st, 2009 at 10:22 pm
You are a slicky vanilly………
Knowing that Besos reads your blog, you had to coyly announce that you turned down another woman’s offer. I am sure you will get lucky tonite.
Btw, I found this on Best of Craigslist and what do you know, I thought that you may appreciate it:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/1361917175.html
October 21st, 2009 at 10:24 pm
@Bobbie Janay – The party is a huge party at a hotel bar – I think it is intended to remind people of the glorified porn to attract guests. heh.
And yeah, my mom is something else, huh? heh. She cracks me up.
October 21st, 2009 at 10:29 pm
@Instigator – You know what? In a week, I’m confident I will be saying, “I should have listened to you.” I think for xmas, you should get me a WWID bracelet.
@Sandra – heh. I think I told her about the party invite already but if not, she knows I’m not one for passive aggressive communication. Plus, she’ll just go drop kick the chick and mow her down with some Mexitude. Whee!
And MAN, I haven’t even thought of IRAC in YEARS. That was a great Best of Craigslist! Made me laugh.
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:27 am
You and Besos can play Eyes Wide Shut in that loft. I think she’d look great it one of those headdresses. Please to be making pix.
The bathtub shots would be rad. Reminds me of these (awful) pics I took of Peabody when he was in the tub: http://www.flickr.com/photos/avitania/200102543/
He was NOT. HAPPY.
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:26 am
“Eyes Wide Shut” is one of the worst movies ever made. And if I hear that one piano note played anywhere (y’know…the one fucking note that is played throughout the entire fucking movie), I feel like I wanna punch somebody. I’d rather get one hundred thousand papercuts on my face than spend one minute at an “Eyes Wide Shut” party.
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:55 am
You are such a tease if that mask picture is really you! Nice eyes!
Oh, and my kiddo said that she wants you to take a picture of her EYE!!!
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 am
“Even if you mouth breathers had a fight to the death, those women would be long gone by the time you found your inhaler after Round 3.”
That made me laugh right out loud. Hilarious.
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:12 am
3. Us moms are subtle aren’t we… haha. I love that you took your mom to dinner.
4. I think we need Besos to take pictures of you taking pictures of LF in the tub.
It’s a cool idea, I just don’t know how you get a good angle without major injury. Good luck..can’t wait to see the results.
5. You crack me up. First, pork chop side burns and now marinating in cologne?? Are men regressing to the 1970’s?
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
@Avitania – Actually, now that you mention it…it might be tremendous fun to get her a Venetian mask and take pictures…Good idea!
@CBG – Oh man, I completely forgot about that one-note piano until you mentioned it! Ha! Fortunately, it’s a tune that doesn’t exactly stick in your head.
@Danielle – goof. That’s the dude in a mask from the movie Amadeus.
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:16 pm
@MommaSunshine – heh. I’m horrible.
@Linda – My momma didn’t raise a fool. And yeah, she’s a subtle as a brick wall. Regarding the pictures of me in the tub….isn’t it enough to imagine the ridiculous poses I’ll be in to get pictures of the beast? I think we’ll spare everyone, including Besos, the view of that.
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:45 am
1. Shots of Little Filthy in the tub would be cool.
2. Cologne on men is highly overrated.
3. Can LF float or swim?
4. Bubble bath shot of LF would be cool.
5. Then would Little Filthy need to be called Little Clean?
October 24th, 2009 at 8:24 am
Love the part about your mother. That’s sweet. But something tells me you don’t appreciate being called sweet? You know what else is sweet? That you declined the sexy Halloween invite because you are devoted. Sweet. The sweetest of all? That super cute pooch of yours. And I don’t usually like small dogs. Little Filthy = the exception to my no little dogs rule.
Sweet!
October 24th, 2009 at 8:35 am
@BigLittleWolf – Little Filthy can swim…not sure how he’d do if he just tried to float. I’ve taken him to the lake sometimes. He wears a harness that makes him look like an oversized handbag with a handle on top. I hold on to the handle while he paddles around. heh.
@Aidan – This made me laugh. I tried to imagine someone calling me sweet and it did make me sort of screw up my face a little. But really, I don’t mind. Thank you for the compliment. And Little Filthy is happy to have slipped by your little dog filter.