Stew, Douches, Crazy and Bad Ideas.
1. I made beef stew this weekend. I am not entirely sure why because I don’t even really like beef stew. But I have a lot of it. Then I discovered that it was pretty good if I ate it with cottage cheese. Yes, seriously.
note to self: more fruits and vegetables.
2. It occurred to me today that I don’t recall the last time I saw a truck. Which is fine, really. I did, however, see a Grand Am today and my first thought was, “What a douche.” This is also my first thought upon seeing a Hummer. Car named after a blow job. And then the Yukon. Car named after a potato. Idiots.
3. David Letterman. Having sex with employees. You know, good thing he got blackmailed. Now he can look like a victim, too. What a douche.
4. Instigator told me about a deal she got to get her teeth bleached. I decided…what the hell? So I got my teeth bleached on Thursday. Before I left, I smiled at our receptionist and said, “Remember these teeth. I’m coming back with whiter ones.” When I returned to the office, I smiled at her again and said, “Did you see my teeth walk off of the elevator?” She looked up and said, “You’re so crazy.”
5. Remember that one day? That one day when I thought it’d be awesome to put food on the counter and teach my dog to jump up and grab it? And how I thought it’d make for some awesome pictures? Yeah, you remember that?
So does Little Filthy.
I shudder to think what harm I’d do to a child.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
October 4th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
You would be an excellent parent, stop trying to deny it.
October 4th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
I told you it was a bad idea, now you pay the price.
October 4th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
The last time I made stew I only wanted to eat the carrots and celery. A salad would have been faster to make. Of course, it wouldn’t have smelled as good.
Here in Idaho you see trucks EVERYWHERE. It’s hard to find my little car in a parking lot because TRUCKS are always surrounding it.
October 5th, 2009 at 3:29 am
Hahaha I never once considered that you were teaching Little Filthy bad habits…what does that say about me too?!
I think Letterman’s a douche too. All the “news” shows are saying it’s ok because he wasn’t MARRIED. Um…I haven’t read/heard all the latest on the saga but seriously, he has a son with a woman he’s been with for many many years…cheating is wrong no matter your marriage status, right?
Also, abuse of power anyone?!
October 5th, 2009 at 8:01 am
I think you just called me an idiot. I used to have a Hummer. I loved it! People used to drive by me and flip me off screaming F*** You H2! It made me proud. Arse!
Yeah, did you not get that you were teaching little filthy to steal food from the counter. I saw that coming. Idiot!
Paybacks suck!
October 5th, 2009 at 8:06 am
@Bobbi – Unfortunately, that advice was a day late and a dollar short.
@debra – A truck in Idaho makes good sense! I’d get a monster truck and park it on top of your car. heh.
@Kez – What I dislike is his sort of blase attitude toward the whole thing. Douche!
@Danielle – I actually called you a douche.
Hummers in downtown Chicago? = Douche. Hummer in Denver? = Snowmobile.
October 5th, 2009 at 9:06 am
I think you love the word douche … just a bit too much.
Not shocking, however.
October 5th, 2009 at 10:24 am
The Yukon is probably named after the rugged Canadian territory rather than the potato. Idiot.
October 5th, 2009 at 10:26 am
@QT – I know, right?
@Kristen – Well, obviously – I was being sarcastic/tongue-in-cheek. I’m unable to tell if you missed that and are truly calling me an idiot or if you are now being tongue-in-cheek.
October 5th, 2009 at 10:30 am
You all realize that I have a dry sense of humor, right?
October 5th, 2009 at 11:05 am
4. Expensive, this teeth bleaching? I’d like whiter teeth.
My favorite insult is ‘douchebag’. I employ it with regularity. The insult. Not an *actual* douchebag. Ew.
October 5th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
I love to call doucheymen douchebags. It’s my favorite word in my urban dictionary.
So how do your pearly whites look ?
October 5th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I feel much better knowing that you weren’t calling me an idiot.
October 5th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
@Phoe – depends where you get it done, I suspect. Normally $600 at this place and we got a deal through Groupon.com and got it for $185.
And I laughed at “I employ it with regularity. The insult. Not an *actual* douchebag. Ew.” Ha!
@Sandra – Very white. I dig it.
October 5th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
That’s quite a deal!
Oh, and I was supposed to be in Chicago this past weekend for a race but ended up bagging it since I wasn’t feeling well. But I will let you know next time I plan to be there and I promise you can take a picture of my eyeball.
If you’ve moved on to other body parts by then, well, we’ll have to talk.
October 5th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
I absolutely need to venture beyond the Idaho borders. I can’t imagine a place with no trucks! I see those little fuel efficient cars and think of what a mess it’d be if they got hit by one of the multitude of large trucks on the road next to them!
I love the receptionist at the dental place! Always wanted my teeth bleached. Not as costly as I once thought.
October 5th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
@Phoe the place where I get massaged has a dental hygenist and a zoom whitening system, like they have in the regular dentist’s office, but it’s only $50 a shot. They recommend 3 treatments about 2 weeks apart. Cheapie! And it works! (But I guess you’d have to live in Terrible Lubbock Texas, where, by the way, trucks abound! Bleh.)
PS: I love you Random, even if you’re an ass sometimes.
You should take a picture of your new shiny teeth, similar to the eyeball picture. We could put them together and think that you looked like a Picasso. Fun!
October 5th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Beef stew… GOOD.
Beef stew with cottage cheese… better.
Beef stew when it’s really Belgian Carbonades… better still.
Belgian Mussels… best.
Filthy Little Dog… GOOD.
Little Filthy Dog… GOOD.
Filthy Little Filthy Dog… BAD.
Dog with banana… good for whitening dog teeth, no bleach required.
Random… GOOD.
Random thoughts… BETTER.
Random thoughts with beef stew on cold night… BETTER STILL.
Esquire. GOOD MAG.
E-squire. Better.
Random Belgian beef stew with filthy little dog, bright teeth, receptionists, muscles, fries. GOED, LEKKER, BEST.
Sleep for random bloggers? BEST OF ALL.
Cool site.
October 5th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
@Phoe – We have an eyeball date!
@Marja – You’re in Idaho along with Debra, huh? I didn’t realize that. I have never been to Idaho.
@Susan – heh. I may need to do something like that with some friends. Great idea!
October 5th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
@BigLittleWolf – One of the more interesting comments I’ve received. Enchante.