Random Esquire

1.  I made beef stew this weekend.  I am not entirely sure why because I don’t even really like beef stew.  But I have a lot of it.  Then I discovered that it was pretty good if I ate it with cottage cheese.  Yes, seriously.

note to self:  more fruits and vegetables.

2.  It occurred to me today that I don’t recall the last time I saw a truck.  Which is fine, really.  I did, however, see a Grand Am today and my first thought was, “What a douche.”   This is also my first thought upon seeing a Hummer.  Car named after a blow job.  And then the Yukon.  Car named after a potato.  Idiots.

3.  David Letterman.  Having sex with employees.  You know, good thing he got blackmailed.  Now he can look like a victim, too.  What a douche.

4.  Instigator told me about a deal she got to get her teeth bleached.  I decided…what the hell?  So I got my teeth bleached on Thursday.  Before I left, I smiled at our receptionist and said, “Remember these teeth.  I’m coming back with whiter ones.”  When I returned to the office, I smiled at her again and said, “Did you see my teeth walk off of the elevator?”  She looked up and said, “You’re so crazy.”

5.  Remember that one day?  That one day when I thought it’d be awesome to put food on the counter and teach my dog to jump up and grab it?  And how I thought it’d make for some awesome pictures?  Yeah, you remember that?

So does Little Filthy.

I shudder to think what harm I’d do to a child.