Tales from the Grocery Store
1. I was picking up some apples at the grocery store with my cart thing tucked next to some stand nearby. A woman zipped by and ran smack into my cart. She didn’t bump into it, she smacked right into it and let out an “Oomph!” What the hell? It looked like it hurt so I took a step forward and said, “Are you okay?” She said, “yes, thanks.” She was sort of feeling her midsection and I just started laughing. I couldn’t help it – it was the most ridiculous thing. Who runs full tilt into a freakin’ grocery cart? I said, “I feel like we’re supposed to exchange insurance information.” She said something like, “Oh God, I’m so sorry.” And then she zipped off.
2. There’s this dude in a Rascal cart thing. Look about mid fifties and he was talking to the manager. He said, “I just want whatever is cheap. I mean, you work here! You must know. Get me stuff that is cheap.” I couldn’t hear the manager’s response but the guy then said, “I don’t care what it is. I just need food that’s cheap. I will pay for it. I don’t expect to get it for free.” And I’ll be damned, the manager said, “Okay…well, let’s start in dry goods.” And off they went. Dude, that is some patience right there.
3. In line, checking out. I turned around while my stuff was being scanned and observed the customer who was in the line next to mine. He was peering into a plastic container filled with small Snickers bars. Each customer line had a similar container as a small reward for a charitable donation. He reached in and plucked out a few candy bars and shoved them into his pocket.
Normally, I am pretty low key about stuff like this but before I had time to even think about it, I leaned over and said, “You’re supposed to donate for breast cancer research before helping yourself.” He said a few choice words back before taking his bags and leaving. Both his cashier and my cashier were watching intently, probably wondering if they should intervene. Man, I wanted to throw a can at the back of his head. Instead, I grit my teeth. Asshole.
4. Man, I sure write a whole lot about absolutely nothing.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
September 27th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
I laughed my ass off at the insurance exchange in # 1. Freaking hilarious.
I saw a very healthy young couple park in between 2 handicap spots at a busy store yesterday and it was all I could do not to go postal on their asses. 2 freaking spots for healthy young little bastards.
September 28th, 2009 at 8:01 am
1. You wanna hear some sh*t? I had a similar shopping cart experience recently. Except no one ran into my cart, some lady, while trying to do a mid aisle swingaroo hit me in the side, hard, with her cart, then pretended like she didn’t notice. And then when I gave her the look of death she just giggled and said woops. Seriously, WTF? Who does that? I hate when women giggle at me! I am not a lesbo, so your giggle that you obviously think is charming, is NOT WORKING ON ME… so stop flattering yourself because even if I were a lesbo I would be into way hotter chics than you!
3. Good call on this. He is a douche and couldn’t even put 50 cents or something, therefore deserved to be called out.
September 28th, 2009 at 8:02 am
That’s the definition of a blog, Random. A whole lot about absolutely nothing. I’ve been blathering on for more than four years. Though I’ve kinda stopped. I used to post every day. Now, it’s a big deal if I post once a week. I guess I’ve blathered enough.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:09 am
God, the grocery store…how I hate it! I’ve never had anyone hit my cart but I have been known to *bump* a cart that is smack dab in the middle of the aisle while the shopper is down at the end of the aisle trying to figure out which can of soup to get…why can’t people pull over to the side? Seriously…it’s common sense, right?
September 28th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Dude, it’s contagious. Simply cuz you know ME.
September 28th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
See, this is why I try to do my shopping as late as possible.
That guy is quite the cocknozzle.