I have a hard-on. But I didn’t know you could smell it.
1. Besos came over last night and as she came inside she groaned and said, “Damn! I forgot my makeup! That’s like forgetting your underwear in Mexico.”
In case you’re wondering: Correct response: “You don’t need makeup!” Incorrect response: “What are you talking about? None of the Mexican girls I’ve ever met wore underwear.”
2. Since we’re on the topic of me being stupid, I went into the bedroom last night and yelled out to Besos, “I’m ready!” She yelled back, “For what?” I called out, “To start making out!”
She came in and complied. I then told her that I thought we should do another photo shoot and I might have suggested a picture of her butt. For the blog. (I was teasing but she does have a remarkable ass.) She pulled back and looked at me and said, “You know, men read your blog, too.”
And to be honest, that might have escaped me since I don’t exactly seem to have a huge male following. I said, “I don’t care. I’m not insecure. If you run off, I’ll find another hot Latina.”
Okay, now, save your wrath. Because I was grinning and she knows I was teasing. She snorted and I said, “You don’t think I can find another hot Latina?” She said, “Oh, I know you could. But then I’d have to find someone new, too.” I said, “You will not find anyone as awesome as me.” She snorted and I yelled, “No one is as awesome as me!” She sighed, looked at me and said, “Well…there’s definitely only one of you.”
And then I spent the next 10 minutes trying to figure out if I’d been insulted.
3. I was talking to QTMama today and I compared sex to a steak. That made me remember when I first started making this analogy. I had a friend in high school who, in trying to explain the difference between sex with a condom on and sex without a condom to a female friend, said: “It’s like eating a steak with a balloon on your tongue. You still end up satisfied in the end …but you missed most of the enjoyable part.”
This is the same guy who made me choke on my drink once. We were out, seated at a bar when a woman came and sat down next to him. She said to him, “You smell good. What do you have on?”
He said, “I have a hard-on. But I didn’t know you could smell it.”
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
August 27th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
This whole post is full of win.
August 27th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
1. And she still made out with you?
2. Besos definitely knows how to handle you.
3. That is the best. line. ever.
August 27th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
I thought I had said, “Oh GOD, let there be only one of you!”…..something like that
August 27th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
@Chivahn – *laugh* Thanks.
@T – 1) Yup! 2) Yup! 3) Yup! heh.
@Besos – Boooo!
August 27th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
@Everyone- I am not sure if it’s clear but RE said the WRONG response.
True, no one is like you
*kiss*
August 27th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
LWS (Laugh with snort…couldn’t help it!)
Your first comment reminded me of my Latina girlfriend and her two sisters. When they were teenagers their stepfather would be upset because they wouldn’t sit with their legs together. One day the three of them put wigs between their legs and *surprised* their papa.
2. Glad Besos is keeping you on your toes.
3. That is SO funny!
August 27th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
RE…we would absolutely get along IRL. Funny stuff.
Oh…I’m a guy who reads your blog but I’m happily taken, so NO worries about Besos showing off her backside on here.
August 28th, 2009 at 7:59 am
“And then I spent the next 10 minutes trying to figure out if I’d been insulted.”
I LOVE THIS.
August 28th, 2009 at 9:09 am
Love this post – and I almost missed it!
August 29th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Wow to number one, yes that was an insult, and your friend is awesome.
August 29th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
haha I love besos, I don’t know how she deals with you.
August 29th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Loved this post. All of it. I laughed, I snorted, I didn’t cry…I shared it with a Friend.
August 30th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
@debra – You ever heard anything like that? “I have a hard-on…” That guy made me laugh all through high school.
@CBG – I laughed and told Besos that you said that because you’re taken, it was okay to post pictures of your butt. She’s not convinced.
@QT – Mmhmm. You like it when anyone is a little mean to me.
@MindyMom – I think when we meet, you should ask me what I have on.
@Bobbi – heh. My idiocy amazes you.
@Carolina – Yes, it appears many people are fond of Besos. I don’t seem quite *that* difficult, do I?
@Amira – Glad you enjoyed it.