The QT…with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe.
QTMama and I decided to write poems about each other. So, without further ado, I offer you:
The QT
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over my dog – Little Filthy’s – loud, obnoxious snore,
While I nodded, nearly sleeping, suddenly there came a beeping
that thrust me up, nearly leaping, sending my phone down upon the floor.
“It is just QT,” I muttered softly, “texting me some more -
Oh, That woman…she’s quite a chore.”
Grabbing for my Blackberry, I read about a night so scary
Of QT’s dates – the men are always such a bore.
Tiredly, I read her typing and then wished that we were skyping
Her typos causing me some griping, if only she would score!
“You must be drunk,” I messaged back, “did you drink the liquor store?”
“Just three martinis…maybe more.”
As I typed back I was grinning, reading about her night of sinning,
and how she laughed when people tripped upon the floor.
“I’d be ever so grateful, Cookie, if you could maybe take a lookie
and find me just a little nookie for me to have once more?”
“I vow to find a hotdog willing to slide down your hallway floor!”
because that’s what friends are for.
“Perhaps it is not you,” I stated, “but just the stupid men you’ve dated,
and maybe you should try someone who’s different from before.
For this man, I will post a stake-out: a man who likes to grope and make out,
not sit at home and order take out…what else would he be for?”
“To share my life,” she whispered softly, “and can I have one more?
Sleep in his nook, forevermore.”
I promised that one day they’d meet, her prince would even rub her feet,
and all those idiots she dated would become the stuff of lore.
“Now get into your bed,” I pleaded, knowing it was sleep I needed.
when came a text to which I ceded, “Cookie, if I could implore…
Tell me that I’m your favorite friend whom you love to adore?”
“That I do, my friend, QT, even if you are a whore.“
Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
August 17th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Ok…. I am COMPLETELY impressed with you now.
And I just thought I was before.
August 17th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
It’s a lucky whore be she,
to have a friend such as ye!
For truly to love a whore,
we must be friends forever more.
I KNEW IT! YOU LOVE ME! WOOOOO!!
August 17th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
@T – Thennnnnkew.
@QT – Jesus, you’re obnoxious!
August 17th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
You should be a Nobel prize-winning poet! I have a feeling that there poem will outlive you, QT, and my great-grandchildren….
August 17th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Well, yes.
But that’s part of why you love me so.
August 17th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
I second “T”, but maybe you should write one about “Little Filthy” I wonder what it would say.
just an idea, love.
August 17th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
@CMC – Posterity. I has it.
@QT – Dat’s true.
@Besos – Good lord, I have to draw the line somewhere. heh.
August 17th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
HOLY HELL, I BOW TO YOU! That’s outstanding! You are a most literary, very creative esquire!
August 17th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
You’re a poet and I didn’t know it. Nicely done RE.
August 17th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
* without words*
* speechless *
* pleasantly, surprisingly impressed by RE *
* snickering *
August 18th, 2009 at 7:59 am
You are a freaking poet. That was awesome. See, QT brings out the best in you! You too Besos.
August 18th, 2009 at 8:54 am
[...] The QT [...]
August 18th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
i don’t even know what to say to this post. for once, i’m speechless. but laughing, nonetheless.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Completely impressed RE. QT’s a lucky girl to have such a friend.
August 20th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
@Beth – Now, from YOU, that is a compliment!
@Instigator – Thenkew.
@Amira – I laughed when I read “surprisingly impressed by RE” – HEY!
@Danielle – wwwhhaatt? She brings out the worst in me!
@Lily – at least you’re giggling. HEY! I meet you in about …3 weeks!
@MindyMom – You’re kind; thank you.
August 21st, 2009 at 9:38 am
VERY cool! Love it, love it, love it!
November 30th, 2009 at 10:06 am
[...] usually does, to me. Of course we have the poem written and dedicated to me, about me – being a whore. Then we have the fact that RE has declared that I have a canyon-sized vagina, the stabbing story [...]