Random Esquire

You may have noticed that my blog partner in crime, QTMama, wrote an entry on what she finds sexy in a man.  I would like to venture forth a list on what I find sexy in a woman.  First though, let’s take a moment to make fun of two things on QT’s list.

Let’s distinguish between things that are sexy and things that are just…SYSBD (shit you should be doing).  I think this falls into the SYSBD category:  “Doing what he says he’s going to do.”  You know why?  Because you said you were going to do it.  It isn’t like some mysterious, unspoken expectation that you have to mindread to fulfill.  You said you were going to do it – so do it.  This only relates to sex in so far as failing to do SYSBD means you might not get any.

Next up:  “A man that cares about kissing as much as he does sex.”  Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!  *cough cough cough* Bwah ah aha ha!  Like I said to QT:  You know why a guy would tell you that he cares as much about kissing as he does about sex?  So he could have sex with you. I translate this into meaning that foreplay makes a woman feel sexy and making out is a key part of that.  Yours truly learned that already, courtesy of Besos.

Enough of that – on to the (only slightly tongue-in-cheek) list – including one that has been a big point of discussion between me and Besos.

• Confidence.   Confident woman in lingerie?   Sexy.   Awkward woman in lingerie?  Well, …still sexy but slightly less so.  Okay, maybe not a good example.
• High heels.  Yes, ruining your feet and back so that your legs look great works.  It works, ladies.  It just totally works.
• Intelligence.  Smart woman are hot.  But please do not tell me how smart you are.  It makes you look stupid.
• Mystery.  That is, I don’t need to know everything about you right away.  Leave some things unspoken.
• Sense of humor.  And by that, I mean laughing at what I say.  Okay, I’m kidding.  Really, though, I like a woman who can make me laugh because it makes me happy.
• Teasing.  Teasing works.  No one chases a carrot on a stick within reach.
• Shy girls.  I dunno.  Makes me curious.
• Telling me ‘no’ once in a while.  It’s the truth.
• A woman who can cook.  This is because I usually do the cooking and someone cooking for me is damn sexy.
• A woman who gardens.  Specifically… in cut-off jean shorts with a big dirt handprint on her ass.  I don’t know why but women who like flowers is a turn-on for me.
• Long hair.  It is an atavistic thing.  Grunt, grunt.
• Soaps and lotions and all that jazz.  Smelling good is sexy.  Perfume is okay but very, very little.  I want to have to stick my nose in your neck to fully appreciate it.
• Cleavage.  This is not quite the no-brainer that it appears to be.  It’s too easy to chalk this up to me being a pig but the thing is, cleavage is sexy.  Not the kind that invites coin tosses but the kind you glimpse every so often before it disappears.
• Whispering.  Lord’a'mercy.  A well timed whisper, lips against ear.
• Winking.  It’s confident, sexy, teasing, so many good things all in one.  I turn into bobblehead when a woman winks at me.

And finally…

• Other people wanting her.  This one has been an item of discussion between me and Besos.  She finds it a bit ridiculous that I feel this way.  I have tried to explain it by putting a glass of water in front of me and saying, ” Let’s say you are sitting around a table with 10 other people and you have a glass of water in front of you.  It’s your glass of water.  Now, let’s say that everyone looks at you and tells you that they are thirsty.”  At that point, I pull the glass of water closer to myself and stare at Besos.  “Then you drink it to reassure yourself that it is yours and no one else can have it.”  Look, people, I’m not saying that it’s right.  I known darn well a woman isn’t a glass of water.  I’m just tryin’ to explain the caveman monkey business going on behind the curtain.

I’m sure there are more but there you have it….a small list of things I find sexy in a woman.  How about you?