Random Esquire

1.  Besos informed me that she used to have a dog as a child.

Named Cindy.

She said it had been kidnapped.  (I think she meant dognapped.)  I asked what happened.

She said they opened the door, it went out and never returned.

*Blink*

I informed her that her dog had run away.

I’m not here to gloss over the truth, people.

2.  Her story reminded me of something that a former co-worker told me.  I mentioned something about the ‘turn and cough’ routine that guys go through at the doctor’s office and she said something about being checked for hernias, too.  I paused and said, “What are you talking about?”  And then she mentioned how her entire volleyball team would, one by one, go behind a curtain and their coach would check them for a hernia.   She made a hand motion and mimicked coughing.

*Blink*

I informed her that she had, in fact, been molested.

3.  And that reminds me of my college days.  I went into Chicago with a bunch of friends (none of whom were familiar with Chicago).  We were drunk and they all wanted their picture taken in front of the Sears tower.  It was 2 a.m. and I was tired.  But I said I’d take them.  They all stood by the building and  I snapped pictures with their cameras.  They drunkenly thanked me.

Until they got their pictures developed and learned that I’d taken them to the John Hancock building instead.

Dude.  It was cold outside.