Random Esquire

Today, on my walk home from work, I saw a pedestrian kick the side of a car that had run the light late, crossing the intersection after the light had turned red and the pedestrians had begun to cross.  The driver burst out of the car and a screaming fit ensued.  I rolled my eyes.

Losing your temper is just one form of letting your emotional reaction to a situation dictate your behavior.  I have a real problem with this.  I am not a stoic.  I have strong reactions and feelings to situations but I do my best not to let that emotion become the fuel to inappropriate behavior.  As I get older, I am realizing that I have less and less patience for this behavior.

I have little to no patience for someone who behaves in disrespectful, inappropriate ways because his or her feelings are so strong at that moment, they just can’t seem to control themselves.  It makes me think of an anguished teenager and I am sometimes surprised to see it so prevalent in adults.  And, like a teenager, I think it stems from a form of self-centeredness.  The belief that there is only one way to view something and that another person’s view or feelings simply do not matter as much as their own.

As I watched the screaming fit in the street, I could understand why the pedestrian was upset.  Sometimes, I find myself so eager to get home that dodging tourists and slow movers annoys me a bit.  And certainly, a car in the middle of the intersection is a slow down as well as a possible danger.  But there was a bus in front of the driver and it is very possible the driver followed so closely that he did not see the light change and found himself unintentionally in the intersection and forced to move forward to avoid cross traffic.  And, at that time, to have someone kick your car?  I’d be ticked off, too.  But the pedestrian only saw one thing.  The injury to himself.  And he felt so offended, he felt justified in kicking this person’s car.

This is nuts, no? This loss of temper?   And losing one’s temper is easily identifiable because it is usually coupled with yelling or violence.  But I think it is just one form of a larger issue – the belief that one’s feelings (be they anger, grief, love, etc.) justify that their emotional needs be met at the expense or neglect of another’s.

Sometimes a feeling is just a feeling and not necessarily the way things are.

Tell me about your experience with this?