Infidelity: A Torrid Tail.
Today I found out some shocking news. For those of you who know me, you know that I place a high premium on loyalty. But today I found out that I’d been replaced. By him.
How did I discover this? Oh, well, let me just tell you.
Little Filthy saw motion out on the patio. I peeked out to find Squirrel Wife with her hands on her hips looking for almonds. I grabbed a handful and opened the door, placing them on a chair. A few minutes went by and I peeked out to find him and her….on my chair.
Eating my almonds.
My jaw fell open. That little cheating nut eater!
Okay, so, my initial shock wore off and after seeing the almonds disappear (at twice the normal rate), I sighed and decided to admit defeat. This time, however, I took my camera out with me to see if the squirrels would stick around with me on the patio.
That’s when I got this picture.
And then I realized…wait…what is that thing? Oh. Despite its rather *cough* delicate placement, it is a nipple. (Thank you, new zoom lens.) Ohhhh. This is a girl squirrel.
Wait. Do boy squirrels have nipples? I mean, I admit, I initially thought it was a boy because Squirrel Wife doesn’t have a tail and this squirrel does – and I realize that is the most faulty logic there is but there you have it. (See? ‘Tail’ was intentional in my title!)
Anyway…so, I think it is another little mama squirrel so I shoved her full of nuts, too.
Which sounds all together much more tawdry than it should.
So, yeah.
We’re Mormon now.
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Just a random attorney writing about daily life with Little Filthy, my rotten dog.
May 15th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
That rocks.
I think about you every day when a squirrel sits outside my office window and looks in on me. He just… sits there.
The guys at work joke that my squirrel is wearing a hidden camera so they can see up my skirt.
Hmmm….
May 15th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
@T – Just so we’re clear…I did not send that squirrel over there.
May 16th, 2009 at 1:52 am
You totally had me. I’m so gullible.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:14 am
LMAO.
Love it.
May 16th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
“That little cheating nut eater!”
Y’know, if I had a dime for every time I’ve said that…
May 16th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Great shots!
The nipple thing reminds me of “Meet the Parents”
“I have nipples, Focker. Can you milk me?”
May 16th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Sooo funny. I laughed so hard at “so we’re Mormon now” that I may or may not have wet my pants.
May 18th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
how squirrel sex and the city of you.
May 18th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Dude.
You and your squirrels. And why are you so involved with their genitalia?
*snort*
May 18th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
LOL, omg- you little devil you!
May 18th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Thank you for the comments, all.